


Hard Choices

by Lokidog



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-26
Updated: 2005-06-26
Packaged: 2018-12-17 17:25:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11856228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokidog/pseuds/Lokidog
Summary: Missing scene/Tag for Menace.  After the destruction of Reece, Daniel temporarily joins another SG team in an attempt to distance himself from the android and Jack.





	Hard Choices

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

**Hard Choices**

Jack leaned heavily against the wall, his adrenaline still pumping. He couldn't get out of the gateroom fast enough; away from Daniel; away from the damn robot; away from Daniel's tears.

_Damn it, I didn't have a choice, Daniel._

His radio crackled as progress reports came in from all sections of the facility, verifying the destruction of the Replicators, and from the sounds of it, the demise of the robot resulted in their simultaneous demise. The Replicators were now as harmless as pieces of Lego. Even so, Jack had given orders to incinerate the lot of them. He wanted to include the robot, but Hammond ordered otherwise. It would be put in storage until the Asgard could be contacted. _Reece,_ his mind reminded him. No, he couldn't think of her, of it, as a creature with a name, as the young girl Daniel saw even after she hurled him into a wall and damn near broke his skull. Jack could still see the look of shock on Daniel's face when he blasted through the door. _Goddamnit, Daniel. What the hell did you expect me to do?_

Jack pushed himself away from the wall when he heard the familiar clatter of a gurney's wheels. He had put through a call for medical aid to the gateroom. In spite of the emotionally charged moment, or that he was a 'stupid son-of-a-bitch', Jack had clearly seen Daniel was injured.

Jack held up his hand, halting the medical team.

"Doctor Jackson can walk to the infirmary. I want the robot put on the stretcher," he ordered.

The two attendants, Conroy and Parker, looked at one another quizzically.

"Sir?" Conroy queried.

"And cover it...her with a blanket," Jack added, fixing the two men with a hard look.

"Yes, sir."

Jack stepped aside to let them pass. He watched them round the corner.

"I am sorry, Daniel," he whispered.

***************

Daniel didn't look up as he heard the approach of the gurney. He was still seated on the floor, his good hand resting on Reece's arm.

"I don't need that," Daniel said wearily.

"It's not for you, sir," Conroy replied respectfully. "It's for, uh, her."

Daniel glanced up in surprise.

"Let me look at your wrist, first," Parker said, stooping down to gently take Daniel's arm.

Daniel winced and sucked in a breath as Parker expertly probed his wrist.

"You've definitely broken something there, Dr. Jackson. I'll apply a temporary splint to make you more comfortable. It won't take a minute."

"Thank you," Daniel said quietly, returning his gaze to Reece.

"There, that should help," Parker said. "Let's get you on your feet and see how you are. The colonel says you're okay to walk to the infirmary, but broken bones can take a lot out of you," he said amiably as he assisted Daniel to his feet.

"The colonel?" Daniel said absently.

"Yes, sir. Colonel O'Neill."

Daniel shook his head. _How the hell do you know how I am, Jack? You didn't even ask you son-of-a-bitch._

"It was Colonel O'Neill who told us to put her on the stretcher," Conroy explained, nodding to the robot, "and to cover her up."

"Jack told you to do that?" Daniel asked, studying the other man intently.

"Just a couple of minutes ago. I thought it was a bit odd for a robot, but, damn, looking at her..." he said, shaking his head.

Daniel closed his eyes. _Shit, Jack._

"Are you feeling okay, Dr. Jackson?" Conroy asked.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. You should take her out of here," he said quietly, looking at Reece.

Daniel watched the attendants lift Reece's lifeless body off the floor and place her on the stretcher. Their actions were quick and professional, and Daniel felt his eyes sting and his chest hurt as they gently covered her body. He knew they were watching him and probably chuckling inside at the pathetic civilian crying over a machine.

"I'm sorry it ended this way, Dr. Jackson," Parker said solemnly. "Doctor Frasier told us how hard you tried."

Daniel closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose, effectively halting the tears. _Damn it, I'm misreading everyone today._

 

Thank you," Daniel whispered. He opened his eyes and looked at Parker. "Ed, isn't it, and Max?" he added, looking at Conroy.

"Nailed it in one," Conroy beamed, grinning at his partner.

Daniel smiled in return, surprised but heartened that he could still smile.

"Well, if you're ready to go, Max can take her to the morgue, and you and I will take a slow pace to the infirmary," Parker suggested.

"Okay, Ed," Daniel replied, anxious for a change of scenery even if it was the infirmary.

***********************

The sweep of the base took longer than Jack thought, or maybe he was taking longer to do the job so he wouldn't have to think about Daniel.

_Fat chance,_ he thought grimly. He hadn't been able to get Daniel out of his mind for more than a few minutes at a time. He'd had a hunch this whole robot thing was going to go down the toilet the minute he realized Daniel had feelings for the machine. He got that look in his eyes and nothing was going to stop him. 

"Nothing except shooting his friend dead right in front of his eyes," Jack muttered darkly. "Crap." He shouldn't have been surprised by Daniel's tears, but he had been. That and his words, 'you stupid son-of-a-bitch'. That had hurt...a lot.

_Damn it, Daniel. Do you think I shot her because I had a choice? There was no goddamn choice, and I'm sorry as hell I hurt you, but I made the right call._

"O'Neill."

Jack fingered his radio. "Yeah, Teal'c. What have you got?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck wearily.

"The base is secure. All the Replicators have been found."

"Good. Burn every damn one of them," Jack ordered.

"Very well. How is Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked.

"He's been better, Teal'c," Jack replied.

"Daniel Jackson is strong, O'Neill," Teal'c affirmed,

"Yeah," Jack said quietly, clicking off his radio. "Okay," he sighed. "Hammond first and then Daniel."

************************

Jack entered the infirmary and quickly scanned the occupied beds. No Daniel. _That's good. Nothing serious._

"Colonel O'Neill."

"Hey, Doc," Jack said, turning to see Doctor Janet Fraiser come out of her office.

"If you're looking for Dr. Jackson, he's in his quarters, or at least he should be," she amended with a knowing frown.

"He's okay?" Jack asked.

"Not exactly, Colonel. His wrist was broken in two places. Fortunately, the fractures were clean, and I've pinned them together. He'll be off-duty for a few days, but definitely no gate travel for at least three weeks," she explained. "I wanted him to stay in the infirmary for the night, but you know Daniel," she smiled.

"Yeah," Jack smiled. _Sometimes I wonder though._

"Anyhow, we compromised. He said he'd go to his quarters and rest," Janet said.

Jack saw the dubious look on her face, and he nodded.

"I'll check on him, Doc."

"I'd appreciate that, Colonel. Thank you."

Jack plunged his hands into his pockets and tried to look nonchalant.

"So, uh, other than the broken wrist and the earlier head thing, how is he?" Jack asked.

"He's hurting," Janet replied bluntly. "I believe he was quite fond of Reece."

"She threw him into the wall and broke his wrist, for crying out loud. He's lucky she didn't break his goddamn neck," Jack said gruffly.

"Yes, she hadn't had time to develop the restraint you have, Colonel O'Neill," Janet replied icily.

Jack's back stiffened at her remark. For a small woman, she packed a heavy punch. Jack hadn't missed 'the look' she had flashed him earlier when he'd told Daniel he didn't like most of what he said, but he managed to restrain from throwing him into walls. The thing of it was, Jack didn't know why he said that and with such venom. It had just come out, and he didn't stop to analyze it, nor did he want to now.

"Touche," Jack mumbled then turned and left the infirmary.

************

Jack stood outside Daniel's door, weighing his options. Something was wrong between them. He could either try to fix it, or ignore it and hope it would just go away and things would go back to normal, whatever the hell normal was. _Some option,_ he thought grimly.

Closing his eyes, Jack rapped firmly on the door. He leaned in to listen for any movement. He rapped again and called out.

"Daniel?"

"I'm not in there."

"Jesus!" Jack snapped, startled by the voice behind him. He turned around to see Daniel standing there with a pile of books balanced in his good hand.

"You're supposed to be resting," Jack said, scowling at the books.

"Reading is restful," Daniel replied, shrugging past Jack.

Jack watched Daniel juggle the books awkwardly while he tried to grasp the doorknob.

"Here, let me do that," Jack said, reaching past Daniel to open the door.

"Thanks," Daniel murmured in a barely audible voice as he swept by Jack.

_Okay, this is going to be fun,_ Jack thought as he followed Daniel inside.

Daniel deposited his books on the bed and began sorting through them, his back to Jack.

Jack sighed inwardly and rolled his eyes. _Oh, yeah, great fun._ He cleared his throat.

Daniel stiffened but did not turn around. _God, Jack. Please go away. Now is not the time. It'll only make things worse._

"Is there something you want?" Daniel asked, his voice stiff and unfriendly.

"I'd like you to turn around," Jack replied, trying very hard not to get angry.

"Fine," Daniel said, straightening his back and turning around.

"How's your wrist?" Jack asked, nodding towards the cast.

"It's broken," Daniel replied.

"I know that," Jack grumbled. "What I mean is, how does it feel? Does it hurt?"

"I have stitches and pins. What do you think?" Daniel responded.

Jack stared at the sullen blue eyes and nodded. There was obviously no point in trying to initiate any semblance of an amiable conversation.

"Yeah," he murmured and turned to leave.

Daniel saw Jack's shoulders visibly sag, and the guilt hit him square in the gut.

"Jack," he called.

Jack stopped at the door and turned around.

"You did what you had to do," Daniel said quietly. "I know that."

_But, there's a big fucking 'but' there._ Jack thought.

Daniel didn't elucidate further, and Jack merely nodded and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Daniel looked thoughtfully at the door. He closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest.

**One week later**

"Your wrist is healing nicely, Daniel," Dr. Fraiser informed him cheerily.

"That's good," Daniel murmured absently, staring at his bandaged wrist.

Janet observed her friend and patient with a worried frown. Taking a deep breath, she voiced her concern.

"Daniel, I can heal broken bones, but I can't heal a wounded heart."

"I don't know what you mean," Daniel said looking up sharply.

"I think you do," she corrected. "No one worked harder than you to help Reece, Daniel. You can't blame yourself for what happened to her, and you can't blame Colonel O'Neill either," she added.

"I don't blame Jack," Daniel said defensively.

Janet gave him her 'don't bullshit with me' look, and he pursed his lips before conceding.

"Okay, maybe I did blame Jack at first, but that was before I knew how serious the situation had become."

"Serious?" Janet said incredulously. "Daniel, this facility was seconds away from self-destruct. If the colonel hadn't done what he did-"

"We wouldn't be having this conversation," Daniel interjected tiredly.

"That's right," Janet said firmly.

"Can I go now?" Daniel asked, effectively terminating the conversation.

"Yes, Daniel, you may go," she sighed. "I'll inform General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill that you're fit for light duty."

Daniel nodded and headed to the door. He stopped and turned to see Janet at her desk, holding her head in her hands. He chewed his bottom lip as he warred with his emotions. Slowly, he returned to her desk and sat down.

Janet looked up, puzzled.

"Daniel?"

Daniel stared at her silently for a few seconds then glanced away. "This isn't easy," he murmured.

Janet's breath caught in her throat. Daniel was reaching out to her, and she prayed with all her might she wouldn't blow it. Daniel rarely, if ever, asked for help.

"I give you my word, Daniel, nothing will leave this room," Janet vowed softly.

Daniel looked back and smiled briefly.

"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep."

"I swear to you, Daniel. If you want nothing to leave this room, then nothing will leave this room," she declared firmly.

Daniel looked into her dark, determined eyes and nodded. He looked down at his hands, opening and closing them slowly. Softly, he began to speak.

"I look at my hands, and I seen them unearthing a delicate artifact. I see my fingers running lightly along a wall, feeling the faintest indentations of a long forgotten language. I see them..." Daniel fisted his hands as a sob caught in his throat. "I see them brushing Sha're's hair; caressing her skin." 

Janet remained silent, not daring to intrude.

Daniel blinked away his tears and cleared his throat.

"At least, that's how I used to see them," he said bitterly. "Now, I see them clutching a gun, squeezing the trigger and killing people I have no right to kill. These hands are now used to deceive and destroy, not to study and learn."

"Daniel," Janet whispered.

Daniel looked up, raw grief in his eyes.

"I look in the mirror, and I don't know who I am. I don't recognize the person looking back at me. If Sha're were still alive, she wouldn't recognize the man she fell in love with," he said quietly.

"Daniel," Janet said, reaching out and grasping his hands. "Oh, Daniel, if you could only see yourself the way I do, the way we all do," she said fervently. "You possess a strength and gentleness that's...overwhelming," she said, searching for a word.

Daniel smiled sadly, but shook his head and averted his eyes.

"What you give us, each and every day is priceless," Janet continued. "I never had the pleasure of meeting your wife, but from what I've heard from the colonel, your fears are unfounded and unfair to her. I can't argue that what you've experienced, both the good and the bad, hasn't changed you. If it didn't, you'd be nothing. Who we are is shaped by our experiences. Daniel, I'm not just spouting empty platitudes here," she said, squeezing his hands to get his attention.

"I know you're trying to help, Janet, and I appreciate it. I really do," Daniel said, looking at her and gently removing his hands from her grasp. "But I really don't know what I'm doing here. Why I'm still with SG-1. What my purpose is. I joined the SGC so I could find Sha're and take her home to Abydos. We all know how that turned out. Failing that, I promised to find her son. To make sure he was safe."

"You did that," Janet said.

"No, Oma Desala did that. I was just a...God, I don't know what I was," Daniel said, sitting back and hugging himself.

"And yet you're still here," Janet said. "Why do you think that is?"

"That's what I'm saying," Daniel stressed. "I don't know."

"I think you do," she said quietly.

"Then could you please enlighten me," Daniel requested acidly. "Sorry," he said, dropping his gaze.

"Daniel, please forgive me if I'm out of line here," Janet said.

"Sounds ominous," Daniel said, smiling weakly.

"I wasn't present," Janet began, "but when you were on Ernest's planet you didn't want to leave, am I correct?"

"What was in that room made the Rosetta Stone seem like graffiti," Daniel said, his muscles stiffening.

"You wanted to stay."

"I wanted to understand," Daniel said quietly.

"You were willing to risk your life and possibly a lifetime of loneliness, just like Ernest suffered, to have the chance to learn and to understand," Janet said.

"Yes," Daniel said tightly, knowing where Janet was going and why she had asked for his forgiveness.

"Well then, what about Sha're?" she asked, her pulse racing. "Wasn't rescuing her your sole purpose for joining the SGC?"

Janet didn't know if Daniel was too angry to respond, or if he was just shutting down on her. Either way, she was in too deep to stop now.

"You have a passion, a need, for knowledge, Daniel; passion to understand and to communicate; to share. You're not a killer, Daniel. You're not even close. Yes, we're fighting a war out there, and yes, there will be casualties, whether they are alien or human."

"I know that; I'm not that naive. I just didn't think I'd be the one pulling the trigger," Daniel replied grimly. "I know I get caught up in things, and I tend to forget or ignore the consequences. Like Sha're," he added softly.

"We all have doubts, Daniel," Janet said. "Every time I lose a patient, I wonder what I did wrong; what I could have done different. I lose a piece of myself each time, but then I remember the patients I've saved, and the ones I pray to God I'll be able to save." Janet sighed and said, "Don't ever think you're not needed, Daniel. As Colonel O'Neill said, you made this place happen."

"Don't blame this all on me," Daniel said, a small smile gracing his lips as he unwrapped his arms from around his chest.

Janet smiled and visibly relaxed at his remark. "All right, but you started it," she chided.

Daniel smiled, but there was a sadness about him that made Janet's heart ache. If she had to put words to it she'd say his soul was sick or wounded.

"Daniel, I can't imagine what this place would be like without you. No, no I can," she amended, "and it scares the hell out of me. It would be an empty shell filled with empty souls, and the colonel, well, you know how the colonel reacts to loss."

"Charlie was Jack's son," Daniel said. "I'm just..." he shrugged and closed his mouth.

"Just his best friend?" Janet said. "Just the man who gave him a reason to live when he though he had lost everything? Just the pain-in-the-ass teammate who watches his back and always gives him another option?"

"You're not going to let me wallow, are you?" Daniel asked, his blue eyes finally showing a spark of life.

"Not on your life, buster," Janet smiled.

"Okay, well I guess I've taken up enough of your time," Daniel conceded with a smile.

"Daniel, as long as you're not cluttering up one of my beds, I'm happy to see you any time," Janet replied.

"I'll remember that. Thank you."

"One more thing," Janet said. "As your physician and your friend, I'd like you to consider a holiday, or at the very least, an assignment to a non-military mission."

"Is there such a thing?" Daniel asked rhetorically.

"I can talk to General Hammond," Janet continued. 

"You said no gate travel for at least three weeks," Daniel said, flexing his wrist.

"I'm sure there's some benign planet with interesting buildings and history just waiting for your touch," Janet smiled. "If you promise not to do any digging," she added.

"Actually, two of my assistants are preparing to return to P2N-651," Daniel said thoughtfully. "Maybe they'd like the boss to tag along and breathe down their necks."

"I'll let you talk to the general then. He already has my blessing to assign you to light duty," Janet reminded him.

"Now, I just need Jack's blessing," Daniel said dubiously.

****************

"If Dr. Fraiser says you're medically fit to travel, Dr. Jackson, I have no objection to you accompanying SG-5," General Hammond said. "Major Branson could use an extra man as Sergeant Stein has taken some personal leave. In fact, Doctor," Hammond said with a smile, "any opportunity to benefit from your expertise is a plus in my book."

"Thank you, sir," Daniel replied, coloring slightly at the general's praise.

"You may not always think your work is appreciated, Dr. Jackson, but I can assure you it is and that it is highly valued," Hammond said gravely. "I appreciate the difficulties you must bear operating in the confines of a military environment, never mind a top-secret one."

"I don't expect special treatment, General," Daniel said, furrowing his brow. "I just...sometimes have trouble understanding our motives."

Hammond studied the young man seated across from him. He took in the pallid features, the dark smudges under the eyes, and the stooped shoulders.

"Do you enjoy working at the SGC, Dr. Jackson?" Hammond inquired softly.

Wary blue eyes looked at the general.

"I love my work," Daniel replied.

"SG-1?" Hammond asked.

Daniel shook his head slowly. "I don't know what you're asking, sir."

"I think you do, son," Hammond said kindly. "Every family, even the most close-knit, have their differences. Usually they sort themselves out, but there are times when a little distance is necessary. I've been looking at your file," he said, nodding towards the computer. "Vacation time is not only mandatory, it's necessary. When was the last time you had a rest, Dr. Jackson, that didn't involve convalescing?"

Daniel held the general's gaze for a few seconds and then glanced away. It was a simple and fair question, but for the life of him, Daniel couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer.

"Just as I thought," Hammond murmured. "I want you to think about remedying that, Dr. Jackson, while you're on P2N-651."

"Yes, sir. I should...go pack," Daniel said awkwardly.

"Very well. I'll be briefing with you and SG-5 at 0900 tomorrow."

Daniel nodded and stood up to leave.

"Dr. Jackson, have you talked to Colonel O'Neill about this mission?" Hammond asked.

"Uh, no. Not yet. I wanted to get your permission first," Daniel replied.

"Would you like me to talk to him?" Hammond offered.

"No, thank you, General. I'll talk to Jack," Daniel said.

Hammond nodded and watched the young man leave. "You can't save everyone, son. Not even robots," he murmured to himself.

*****************

Jack signed another report and tossed it onto his out-pile. As much as he hated unexpected downtime, it did give him the opportunity to catch up on his paperwork. He sometimes wondered if Daniel deliberately got himself injured for the sole purpose of allowing Jack to catch up. On this occasion, however, he dismissed the thought entirely. If anything, Daniel would probably be pleased to see Jack flounder in a sea of red tape and paper cuts. The man had barely spoken to him in two weeks. Not that he'd gone out of his way to approach the archaeologist. He'd tried. Sort of. What do you say to someone who called you a 'stupid son-of-a-bitch' and looked as if they'd reached the end of their rope? Lie low and hope it all blew away. It worked in the past.

"Not this time, damn it," Jack muttered, throwing down his pen and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

A firm rap on the door saved Jack from further introspection.

"Come in," he called, still rubbing his eyes.

"Hey," a soft voice said.

Jack looked up sharply and tried not to show surprise.

"Hey," he replied.

"You busy?" Daniel asked, avoiding Jack's eyes.

"Just paperwork," Jack responded, gesturing to the piles of sheets. _Crap, he can't even look at me._ "Sit down," he offered.

"Uh, no thanks," Daniel said, glancing at him briefly. "I have a briefing to prepare for."

"A briefing?" Jack frowned. "I didn't hear anything-"

"I'm going with SG-5 to P2N-651," Daniel interrupted. 

"That's Branson's team," Jack said.

"Yes, I'm going to help my assistants, Doctors Peter Taylor and Sharon Reynolds," Daniel said. "You remember P2N-651?"

Jack nodded slowly. "Abandoned. Lots of temples. Lots of squiggles."

"Yes, I see you remember," Daniel said stiffly. "Janet says I'm well enough to go and play with squiggles."

"Daniel, I didn't mean-"

"I just came to tell you," Daniel said, brushing Jack off. "I thought you might like to know."

"You thought?" Jack said incredulously.

"Anyway," Daniel said, hugging himself, "we leave tomorrow afternoon."

"For how long?"

"Three days, maybe more," Daniel shrugged. "Depends how much we find."

"You really feel up to it?" Jack asked, nodding towards Daniel's wrist.

Daniel fixed Jack with an unwavering blue stare. "It might help me take my mind off things."

Now Jack had trouble holding Daniel's gaze, and he looked away. "A change is as good as a rest," he mumbled.

"Well, I have a lot to prepare," Daniel said, anxious to leave the room and the conversation.

"Sure. I'll see you tomorrow then," Jack said.

Daniel nodded. "See you," he replied, then turned and walked out, carefully closing the door behind him.

Jack sat back, picked his pen up and threw it across the room.

"Crap."

*******************

"Teal'c, have you seen the colonel?"

"I have not, Major Carter."

"Daniel's leaving in twenty minutes. I thought he'd at least be here to see him off," Sam said.

"As did I," Teal'c replied. "I am not comfortable with Daniel Jackson going on this mission."

Sam looked warily at her companion.

"Why do you say that, Teal'c? I mean, I'm not comfortable with it either, but that's because I don't like us being split up."

"I cannot say, Major Carter. It is just a feeling," Teal'c responded.

Sam stared at Teal'c, but he did not elucidate further. She wasn't surprised, but now she felt more uneasy than ever.

"Hi guys, "Daniel said, coming up to Sam and Teal'c. "Thanks for seeing me off."

"Try to enjoy yourself, Daniel," Sam urged, trying to hide her concern.

"I will, Sam," Daniel replied. "I'm looking forward to this. It's been a long time since I've studied something at my leisure."

Neither Sam nor Teal'c missed the way Daniel casually looked around the gateroom and up into the control room.

"O'Neill has not yet arrived, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c informed him.

"I'm not expecting him to, Teal'c," Daniel said. "I just thought he might," he added quietly.

"Daniel, I'm sure he'd be here if he could," Sam insisted. "He left the mountain earlier. Something must have tied him up."

"I'm sure you're right," Daniel said unconvincingly.

******************** 

"Damn it, come on," Jack muttered, punching the elevator button a third time. He looked at his watch again and rolled his eyes.

"For crying out loud, who the hell's on this thing?" he bellowed, thumping on the door.

***********************

"Are you ready, Dr. Jackson?" Hammond inquired.

"Yes, General, and Dr. Fraiser's given me enough Tylenol for two weeks," Daniel smiled.

"I'm afraid you're only allowed five days, son," Hammond said. "Make full use of it."

"I will, sir, and thank you again."

"SG-5, you have a go," Hammond announced, looking at Major Colin Branson.

"Yes, sir," Branson saluted. "Let's move out, people," he ordered, addressing his team.

"Have fun, Daniel," Sam said.

"Remember your exercises, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c added.

Daniel smiled and said, "I'll see you in five days."

Daniel glanced one last time to the control room. He didn't know why it was so important to him that Jack be present. It just was. He swallowed his disappointment and turned to follow his team up the ramp. A few steps from the event horizon, an urgent voice called out.

"Daniel, wait!"

Daniel stopped and turned. His eyes widened in surprise to see Jack running up the ramp.

"Crap, I thought I was going to miss you," he puffed. "I got stuck in traffic and then the damn elevator went on strike. Not to mention the line-up to get this," he said, holding up a bag that had Daniel practically salivating.

"I got it ground. Thought you might like some decent stuff this time out," Jack said, stuffing the package into one of Daniel's pockets.

Daniel, still speechless, gazed down at his bulging pocket.

"There's more than enough to share, but take it easy, okay? Don't stay up all night," Jack said.

Daniel looked up at Jack and saw warm, concerned eyes. Concern for his welfare, but more importantly, concern for their friendship, which had become a little too fragile of late.

Daniel smiled warmly, appreciation and acknowledgment of Jack's gesture evident in his eyes.

"Thanks, Jack. I'll bring some home for you."

"I'll look forward to it," Jack said sincerely. "Have fun," he added, patting Daniel on the shoulder.

Daniel smiled again, nodded farewell to Sam and Teal'c and then turned and stepped quickly through the Stargate.

Jack watched the wormhole wink out, acutely aware of two sets of eyes boring into the back of his skull. He turned around.

"What? Did you think I wasn't going to show?" he asked accusingly.

"Well, sir," Sam said, looking at Teal'c for support.

"Your absence was keenly felt, O'Neill," Teal'c stated.

"I know," Jack sighed. "Believe me, I know."

"I'm glad you made it, sir. That was close," Sam said quietly.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Yeah," Jack said, glancing back at the Stargate.

Jack had long ago vowed that unless he was laid up in the infirmary, or otherwise incapacitated, he would always be present to witness any of his teammates go through the Stargate. They all knew how he felt. It was never spoken aloud, but the possibility of never returning was very real, regardless of how benign the mission may be perceived to be. A spur of the moment decision to buy Daniel his favourite brand of coffee as a token of friendship and maybe even apology, had almost backfired in such a way that it would have stretched their tenuous connection even further. Jack shivered and looked at Sam and Teal'c.

"Anyone hungry?" he asked, realizing he wanted to keep his remaining teammates a little closer for a little while longer.

"I'm starving, sir," Sam smiled.

"I, too, would enjoy a little repast," Teal'c concurred.

"Great. Let's see what the chef's cooked up today," Jack said, eagerly ushering his remaining teammates towards the door.

 

****************

Daniel was exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. Jack's impromptu gift had turned a mission that Daniel had viewed as an escape into a pleasurable excursion of discovery. He and his colleagues had already collected an impressive amount of text on videotape, rubbings, and sketches. Five days was not nearly long enough to collate all the information that was available to them so Daniel felt compelled to make the most of his time. He worked long into the night, stayed up even longer translating, and drank way too much coffee. The latter he felt justified in blaming Jack. After all, what did Jack expect by giving him fresh ground beans, for crying out loud?

"Well, for one thing," Daniel murmured to himself, "he expects me to take better care of my co-workers." It was one thing to push his own endurance, but quite another to expect his assistants to follow his lead.

Daniel straightened up slowly and stretched his cramped muscles. He walked stiffly over to the makeshift desk. Slumped over a pile of rubbings and sound asleep, were his assistants.

Daniel glanced at his watch and winced with guilt. He shook the pair gently.

"Peter, Sharon," he called. "Time to wake up and go to bed."

They awoke with a start, but before they could come out with any apologies, Daniel held up his finger.

"Don't even think about it. I'm sorry. I got carried away. You should've told me what time it was," he admonished lightly. "Let's call it a night, or day, or whatever," he muttered, gathering up their work.

"We can do that Dr. Jackson," Peter said, gesturing to his yawning colleague.

"Sorry," Sharon replied, yawning again.

Daniel reluctantly allowed them to carry the majority of the equipment. Jack had patiently explained to him on more than one occasion, that as mind-boggling as it was, the people assigned to his department were thrilled and honoured to be there. Luckily, for Daniel, his latest recruits were intelligent, enthusiastic, intuitive, and more than willing to work long hours. Daniel had tried to get them to call him by his first name but to no avail. Jack had told him to do so would spoil the mystique. Daniel smiled to himself as Jack's words came to mind: _Face it, Danny boy, you're a legend. Those kids are thrilled to work with you so don't spoil it for them._

"Do we have everything, Dr. Jackson?" Sharon asked, looking around.

"That's everything," Daniel confirmed. "I'll take point," he said, slipping unconsciously into military lingo, his flashlight lighting the way. "I'm surprised Major Branson let us stay this long. Ten to one he's got a guard posted outside."

"How do you do it, Dr. Jackson?" Peter asked.

"Excuse me?" Daniel said, turning around and temporarily blinding the young man. "Oh, sorry," he said, chagrined.

"How do you put up with the military and all their restrictions? There's a year's worth of work here already, and we've barely scratched the surface."

"They pay your salary, Peter," Sharon admonished.

Daniel smiled. "There is that, but you're right, it isn't easy. Colonel O'Neill's always telling me I can't have my cake, eat it, and then expect to have seconds. What I give up on one hand, such as time to actually finish a job, I gain with the other, such as more opportunities to meet new cultures and gain allies."

"To procure knowledge and weapons to use against the Goa'uld," Sharon added a little testily.

"And you'll save yourself a lot of grief by remembering that," Daniel said. "The Goa'uld want us dead, or as hosts which can be worse than death. It's easy, damn easy, to focus on something else and completely forget their existence. Fortunately, General Hammond also sees the wisdom of non-military objectives. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here."

"Still, it must be very frustrating for you," Peter repeated.

"You learn to live with it," Daniel said with a lightness that felt false. "Now, let's get out of here before the two of you wake up too much."

Daniel led them through the tunnels and out into the watchful presence of Sergeant Edward Cairns.

"Dr. Jackson, you're lucky," Cairns said. "The major gave me orders to physically roust you if you weren't out in another twenty minutes," he said, grinning.

"I'll have to get him to give lessons to Colonel O'Neill. He would've had me fed and tucked in three hours ago," Daniel replied wryly.

"Rumor has it you caused all his grey hair," Cairns laughed.

"You know what they say about rumors, Sergeant," Daniel said, waving his hand dismissively.

****************************

Jack couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, swore profusely, then tossed and turned some more.

"To hell with it," he growled, getting out of bed. He grabbed his bathrobe, slipped it on and his slippers at the same time. He went into the kitchen, toyed with the idea of making coffee, but settled on a watered-down Scotch. Armed with a hefty hunk of cheese and a box of crackers, Jack retired to the living-room. 

Jack turned on the television and flipped through various channels. He settled on a documentary on glass-blowing. He wanted something he could focus on. Sports he knew inside and out. He needed something that wouldn't allow his mind to wander to a certain absent archaeologist; there was too much unfinished business there. Jack had said he was sorry that Reece had to be killed, and Daniel had acknowledged he had done the right thing. But there was more to it, and that's what kept Jack from getting any sleep. Ever since SG-1 had brought the robot back to the SGC, he and Daniel had been on opposites sides of the fence. Why had he fought Daniel at every turn, and why did he get so angry at Daniel when the robot had thrown the younger man at the wall? And what exactly did Daniel mean by 'you stupid son-of-a-bitch'? It was questions like these that drove Jack to seek solace in glass-blowing and it actually worked for thirty minutes until an ad about an upcoming special, "Unlocking the Secrets of the Great Pyramids' blew his solace all to hell.

"For crying out loud," Jack murmured. "All right!" he yelled, looking up at the ceiling. "I'll talk to him when he gets back."

Jack immediately felt better. He had made his decision, and he would stick to it, come hell or high water, or annoying archaeologists who tended to clam up when he felt like talking.

"You're in for it now, Danny boy," Jack chuckled, settling effortlessly back into the intricacies of glass-blowing.

*************

Daniel noticed them at the same time as Major Branson: footprints, and more than one set by the look of the ground.

"We've got company," Branson whispered, his fingers curling tightly around his P-90.

"They look fresh," Daniel said softly as he lowered his lantern to the ground so he could compare his own footprints in the dusty floor to the unexpected ones.

"Too damn fresh," Branson added, looking around warily.

Daniel had a sudden wish for the presence of Jack, Sam, and Teal'c. He jumped slightly when Branson tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up at the major and immediately translated the latter's silent order of a nonchalant, but hasty retreat. Daniel nodded and followed the major outside.

"Cairns, do you read me?" Branson spoke into his com unit.

"I read you, sir," came the crackling reply.

"We may have company, Sergeant. We found footprints; two for sure, maybe more."

"Understood, sir. Everything's quiet here. No one's come through the Stargate," Cairns reported.

"Okay. Stay alert, Sergeant. We're coming back," Branson said.

The major frowned and looked at Daniel.

"If no one's come through the Stargate, then either our company arrived before us, or they've come by ship."

"Or, they're indigenous, and we missed seeing anyone the last time out," Daniel suggested. "It's a large planet, but wherever they came from they have just as much right to be here as we do."

"I knew you'd say that," Branson sighed, "and you're right, but we know why we're here. What I don't like is not knowing why anyone else would be here. There's nothing here but-"

"A bunch of empty buildings full of funny scribbles," Daniel said wearily.

"That's not what I was going to say, Dr. Jackson," Branson said.

"Sorry," Daniel replied sincerely. "I guess I forgot who I was talking to."

"Dr. Jackson, I know Colonel O'Neill can be a bit...frustrating at times," Branson said carefully.

"That's one way to put it," Daniel smiled.

"However, and you didn't hear this from me," Branson said, lowering his voice, "O'Neill would be lost without you."

"Where did you get that idea?" Daniel asked in astonishment.

Branson stared at the bewildered blue eyes and shook his head.

"No disrespect, Doc, but O'Neill's right. You really can be dense at times. Now, let's get back to camp and figure out our options."

"How's this for an option?" a voice called out from behind them.

Daniel and Branson whirled around automatically. A round object thrown from the building they had just left landed at their feet.

"Oh, shit," was all Daniel had time to say before the shock grenade exploded.

***********************

Daniel awoke with a jerk and a mouthful of dirt. He spat the dirt out and rolled onto his back. His head throbbed painfully, but he knew that was the least of his worries.

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Branson?" Daniel answered quietly.

"I'm over by the wall. I can't see anything," Branson replied grimly.

"It'll pass," Daniel assured him. "That was a Goa'uld shock grenade. They're designed to incapacitate but not injure."

"I guess that's good news," the major answered.

"Are we alone?" Daniel asked, sitting up gingerly, pressing the heels of his palms into his temples.

"As far as I can tell," Branson sighed. "This is not going to look good on my record, you know. Being captured by someone with goa'uld technology."

"Well, if it's any consolation, Ferretti would say you were doomed from the start," Daniel said, trying to see his hand in front of his face.

"I don't believe in that," Branson said.

"In what?"

"The Jackson Curse," Branson replied.

"Ah, but you've heard of it," Daniel observed.

"Yeah, and I know who started it."

"Who?" Daniel asked.

"You really want to know?"

Daniel hesitated before answering. "Yes, I really want to know."

"Colonel O'Neill," Branson replied.

"Jack? Jack started that rumor?" Daniel asked, his stomach clenching at the thought.

"Easy, Doc, it's not what you think," Branson said reassuringly. "He started it because he didn't want you on anyone else's team. I've got to hand it to you, Dr. Jackson. You've really done a number on the colonel, as unintentional as it was," he laughed.

Daniel said in silence, absorbing the major's words. Images of Jack flashed in his mind: surprising him with coffee in the Gateroom; shooting Reece dead in front of him; hugging him in the storeroom; telling him to shut up. Daniel squeezed the bridge of his nose when his own image appeared: flaunting himself in robes while Jack was on his knees in chains; telling Jack he was never very bright; calling him a stupid son-of-a-bitch.

"I think my sight's coming back!" Branson said suddenly.

"What?" Daniel asked, bringing himself back to the here and now.

"I can see shapes," Branson said excitedly. "Can you see anything yet?"

Daniel blinked bitter tears out of his eyes and concentrated on the darkness.

"Yes, I can see a little. In another twenty minutes we'll be fine," Daniel confirmed.

"What about the headache?" Branson asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid you'll have to get used to that," Daniel replied. 

"Figured as much."

"Don't strain your eyes, Colin. Just let it happen," Daniel encouraged.

"Okay, you're the expert, but patience isn't one of my virtues," Branson warned.

"Could've fooled me," Daniel replied. It's not really a dream mission babysitting three archaeologists."

"It's not babysitting, and I'll let you in on a little secret," Branson said, lowering his voice. "I always wanted to be an archaeologist."

"You're kidding?" Daniel laughed in surprise.

"Scout's honor. When I was a kid my Dad was stationed in Crete for a couple of years. I fell in love with the place and the country; the history and the mythology. I couldn't get enough of it. Cried for weeks when we moved back to the States. My poor parents had to take me to every museum they could find. Then I discovered Egypt, Central America, Native American Indians, you name it. I joined the Air Force to see the world."

"So you could see the past," Daniel said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, and now I'm a million light-years from the world, on another planet. Go figure."

"Do you ever regret not pursuing archaeology?" Daniel asked.

"Sometimes, but regret can be as debilitating as any disease," Branson replied. "If you let it go unchecked, your life can be ruined. Don't get me wrong, Dr. Jackson. I love what I do. I just know there's a lot more out there."

"That's why you've been letting me work till all hours."

"Your passion reminds me of my childhood. I guess you could say I get a vicarious thrill out of watching you work," Branson snickered.

"Jack gets a migraine," Daniel replied dryly.

"He'll have more than a migraine when he finds out I got us captured," Branson said wearily.

"This isn't your fault," Daniel protested.

"The Jackson Curse?" Branson suggested with a smile.

"No, it's the Jack O'Neill 'just one of those crappy days' scenarios," Daniel replied.

"It certainly is crappy," Branson sighed. "I know I don't have to tell you that this could go very bad for us."

"I know," Daniel admitted quietly.

"I also know my men can handle it and so can you."

"But what about Peter and Sharon?" Daniel guessed. "I honestly don't know. The SGC sets strict physical requirements, even for academics, but being captured and possibly tortured? I don't know. Can you ever really prepare for that?"

"Maybe it'll all turn out to be one big misunderstanding," Branson said hopefully.

"Maybe," Daniel said, but his gut told him otherwise. _You might not get that coffee after all, Jack._

**********************

 

"You are worried about Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said solemnly.

Jack glanced sideways at this teammate and then returned his gaze to the idle Stargate.

"I don't like the team being split up," Jack replied.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "Daniel Jackson has gone on numerous missions with other teams."

"Yeah, well he shouldn't have," Jack murmured. "He's a member of SG-1. That's where he belongs."

"Indeed. I am pleased to hear you say that, O"Neill," Teal'c said gravely.

"Damn it, Teal'c, I don't like this," Jack said, shaking his head. "All this goddamn waiting."

"Major Branson is a fine warrior, O'Neill, as is Daniel Jackson."

"I know," Jack sighed.

"And SG-5 is a very capable team," Teal'c added reassuringly.

"I know that, too," Jack grumbled.

"But they are not SG-1," Teal'c said.

"No, they're not. Where's Carter?" Jack asked, looking at Teal'c.

"I believe she is in her lab, O'Neill."

Jack nodded and looked back at the Stargate, his mind forming a plan.

******************

"I don't know anything," Daniel gasped, sinking to his knees as his captor cruelly twisted his injured wrist.

"Last chance, hero."

"Go to hell," Daniel spat between clenched teeth.

"I warned you," his torturer sighed as he twisted Daniel's hand viciously.

Daniel screamed hoarsely at the resulting pain and audible snap of bone.

"Once more for good measure," a voice whispered close to his ear.

Daniel almost passed out as another bone cracked then snapped.

"Come on, let's work on the female. This one's broken," the man clutching Daniel's wrist said with a cruel laugh as he gave the abused wrist a final twist before letting go.

"Not yet. I'm not finished with him," crooned a second voice that chilled Daniel's blood.

Daniel swallowed past his pain and nausea long enough to glare defiantly at the two men standing over him. He didn't know who they were. Mercenaries he suspected. Thugs roaming the galaxy for any information to sell to the highest bidder, most likely a Goa'uld. Aris Boch had class, but these were just brutes.

"Was it just dumb luck our ship crashed here, or was it Fate?" the second man asked as he walked slowly around Daniel.

Daniel tried to maintain eye contact but found it too painful. He closed his eyes as a wave of nausea twisted his stomach. Besides, the two men were not pleasant to look at. Jack would've called them 'Ugly' and 'Butt Ugly'. Thoughts of Jack filled Daniel's mind, and he made a silent vow to his absent friend. _I won't go down easy, Jack, and I won't tell them a damn thing. I promise you._

"On your feet," Butt Ugly ordered.

Daniel started to comply then hesitated. He knew it would cost him, but he also knew the longer he could draw this out, the greater the chance Hammond would mount a search and rescue. He glanced down at his watch, under the pretense of cradling his wrist. Four more hours until they were due to check in. _Oh, God._

"I think I'm going to be sick," Daniel rasped.

"You'll be more than just sick if you don't get on your feet now," Butt Ugly growled, punctuating his threat with a stinging blow to Daniel's left ear.

Daniel braced himself from falling with his good hand. He swallowed bile and waited for the vertigo to pass. He broke out in a cold sweat as he got shakily to his feet.

"Abu, I think he really is going to be sick," Butt Ugly said scornfully.

_Abu? I prefer Ugly,_ Daniel thought as he swallowed more bile and then faced his captors.

Abu found something disconcerting in the piercing blue gaze directed his way.

"Turn around!" he ordered.

"Where are the others?" Daniel asked obstinately.

"You'll see them soon enough unless you decide to cooperate," Abu purred.

Confusion flickered across Daniel's face and his gaze faltered.

"I see I finally got your attention," Abu sneered. "But, first things first. Carsu, take his jacket and shirt off."

Carsu, or Butt Ugly, muttered under his breath as he did his partner's bidding.

"I can do it myself," Daniel said, starting to shed his jacket before they could cruelly yank it off. To his surprise, they allowed him to do it, but they lost patience when he had trouble with his T-shirt.

Carsu stepped forward and slashed the shirt with his knife, cutting deeper than necessary.

Daniel flinched and looked down at the blood welling from the slice on his chest.

"Oops, Carsu grinned, displaying a set of misshapen teeth that matched his features.

"Leave it," Abu ordered. "It will help absorb the blood."

Daniel tried to ignore those last words and watched Abu. He didn't like what he saw.

Abu discarded one broken branch after another. They didn't feel right, but he knew the perfect one was here. Spying his quarry, he called to Carsu.

"Carsu, get your ugly carcass up there and get me that branch," he growled.

Carsu, muttering silently to himself, scampered up the tree with an agility that amazed Daniel.

"Move and you're dead," Abu said to Daniel while he pointed the archaeologist's own zat gun at his chest.

Daniel remained still and used the opportunity to scan the area for any sign of escape. There was none.

"Not that one, you fool! The one above it," Abu barked impatiently.

Carsu hacked off the branch and tossed it down.

Abu caught it deftly in his thick fingers and hefted it experimentally, feeling the weight.

"This will do nicely," he murmured. He whacked it against a rock and the end split into several thick, sharp fibres. "Very nicely," he whispered with a wolfish grin.

Daniel's stomach clenched, and his heart raced. He knew what was coming. It was a scenario Jack had warned him about, but one they had hoped would never happen. Daniel took a deep breath and concentrated on the positive aspects of his situation: he was buying time, and as long as his captors concentrated on him, they were leaving the rest of his teammates alone. 

Abu gave the stick another whack for good measure and smiled when Daniel jumped at the sound. He swaggered back to his prisoner who was studying the ground at his feet.

Daniel flinched slightly when he felt the tip of the switch prod him under the chin. He looked up into the cruel, soulless eyes of Abu.

Abu's confident sneer wavered as cold assessing blue eyes burrowed into his. Under different circumstances, Abu knew he would be unnerved by the look, and it angered him.

"On your knees!" he ordered.

"I have this little ACL problem," Daniel said, the words out before he knew what he was saying. A vicious kick to the back of his knees, courtesy of Carsu, had him kneeling immediately.

_Thanks, Jack. You picked a great time to influence me,_ Daniel thought as he stifled a grunt when his knees impacted with the dirt. 

Daniel stared straight ahead as Abu walked slowly around him, tapping the large stick methodically against his boot.

_Get on with it, you ugly bastard. Whatever you do to me will be nothing compared to what Jack's going to do to you._ Thoughts of his friend brought renewed strength and resolve to Daniel. He was a survivor, Jack had told him, and he was also damned hard to kill

Daniel's ordeal took on a surreal quality. The light seemed too bright and the air a little too thick. He heard what sounded like a gull in the distance and then a slow intake of breath behind him followed by the rasp of cloth stretching. Daniel closed his eyes and steeled himself for the first blow.

***********************

Jack paced back and forth in front of General Hammond's desk, his face flushed and his posture rigid.

"You know the procedure, Colonel. SG-5's next check-in is in four hours. Until such time I must assume everything is fine," Hammond explained.

"That's just it, General," Jack said. "Everything isn't fine."

"And you base this on a gut feeling?" Hammond queried.

"It's more than that, sir. I can't explain it. It's just that sometimes...sometimes I can feel him," Jack said, frowning at his words.

"Dr. Jackson," Hammond said.

Jack nodded.

"Jack, I know you and Dr. Jackson have some unresolved issues-"

"Sir, this has nothing to do with destroying that damn robot," Jack said, his jaw muscle twitching.

"Then how did you know I was talking about Reece?" Hammond asked quietly.

Jack closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He opened them and looked levelly at Hammond.

"General, the situation with Reece and the Replicators ended the only way it could, under the circumstances. I know, believe me I know," he laughed mirthlessly, "things didn't go the way Daniel would've liked. They didn't go the way I would've liked either, but I made the right call, sir, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Hammond nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, Colonel, because if you were having second doubts about your actions, you're no use to me or this facility," he said bluntly.

"Yes, sir," Jack acknowledged. "About my request?" he asked impatiently.

"Yes, this connection that you and Dr. Jackson have," Hammond murmured.

"I know it sounds crazy, General, but-"

"Colonel, after everything I've seen, I'd be the last person to say something was crazy," Hammond said kindly, "but we're operating on a shoestring budget. I can't authorize opening the Stargate without a damn good reason."

"The lives of six people, four of whom are civilians, isn't a damn good reason?" Jack asked hotly.

"Colonel O'Neill, you are out of line," Hammond said quietly.

"Damn it, General," Jack said, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. "It's not just me, Teal'c feels it, too. They're in trouble; serious trouble. Four hours, hell, it might as well be four days. We have to go now," he implored.

Hammond observed Jack closely throughout the meeting. He had seen his first under stress on countless occasions. Often he would blow off a little steam by railing against an ideal, principle, or sadly, Dr. Jackson, but this was different. The colonel wasn't angry; he was scared. Hammond had often witnessed the uncanny ability of O'Neill and Jackson to read each other's minds, to finish each other's sentences. Through death, pain, and sorrow, the two men had forged a bond of friendship that had been tested time and time again, and he had never seen one as strong as theirs.

Hammond's eyes lowered to the report lying on his desk: more bureaucracy; cutbacks in almost every department; cancellation of additional personnel, and unbelievably, reduction in the deployment of MALP's and UAV's. Hammond had fought tooth and nail over the last one. Sending men and women through the Stargate into unknown and possibly hazardous situations was 'acceptable risk', but God forbid an expensive piece of equipment be sent through and lost.

"George, please," Jack whispered desperately.

Hammond looked up, his face set, and his blue eyes angry.

"Tell me what you need, Jack."

***********************

The air crackled and sizzled for the second time and Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to see. He didn't want to know. _Open your eyes, damn it. He deserves a witness._

Daniel opened his eyes and gazed at the still body on the ground. _His name is Edward Cairns, 'Eddie,' to his friends. His mother's name is Joanna, his father's, Frank. They live in Eugene, Oregon with their daughter, Jill._

The third shot made Daniel flinch, and his eyes closed automatically. A stinging pain forced his eyes open.

"Tell me the coordinates to your world," Abu demanded.

Daniel's obstinate silence earned him another stinging lash across the back. He bit his lip as his abused body absorbed the blow. He had lost count of the blows. It wasn't important. A hand fisted in his hair and wrenched his head back, his neck muscles straining.

"Do you want them all to die?" Abu asked harshly.

"I don't want...anyone...to die," Daniel rasped out painfully.

Daniel's head was released with a jerk that nearly snapped his neck. He heard the zat being primed, and he prepared to die. _Do it. Get it over with. Sorry, Jack, but I tried._

"Bring out the female!" Abu shouted.

Daniel slumped forwards. _Oh, God, please let it end._

************

"Sir, I'm getting some definite heat images," Sam said, as the members of SG-1 and SG-3 carefully watched the UAV transmission.

"Life signs?" Hammond asked.

"I'm not sure, sir. There isn't-wait-yes, there's movement!" she said excitedly.

"How many, Carter?" Jack asked, leaning anxiously over her shoulder.

"It looked like three, possibly four," she said, shaking her head. "The UAV's passed over."

"Turn it back, Major," Jack ordered.

"Yes, sir. Wait, there's more!" she said, as definite red blotches showed up on the screen. "They're close together. I can't tell how many," she said, shaking her head.

"Major, how far are those last images from the first ones?" Hammond asked.

"No more than a quarter of a mile, sir. There doesn't seem to be anything beyond that last image," she said, as the UAV continued on its way.

"Bring it back to the first images, Carter," Jack said calmly although his hands were gripping the back of her chair.

"Yes, sir," she said, deftly bringing the UAV around. "The first images should be coming up right about...now. There! There's definitely four and, oh, God..."

"Carter?" Jack queried, waiting for confirmation of what they just witnessed.

"One of the images just vanished, Colonel. There was definitely four."

"Now there are three," Teal'c said sombrely.

"General," Jack said, looking into Hammond's concerned blue eyes. "There's no activity at the 'gate."

"SG-1 and SG-3, you have a go," Hammond announced.

 

************************

"You're not going to get anything out of him," Carsu hissed. "He doesn't even care about the others. You've already killed two of them."

"He cares, and he'll talk," Abu said stubbornly, glaring at the battered, bleeding body at his feet.

"You could've at least let me have some fun with the female before you killed her," Carsu pouted, aiming the zat at Dr. Reynolds's corpse.

"Leave it," Abu ordered. "Let him see what he's done."

Abu leaned over and yanked Daniel's head up savagely.

"Look at her!" he spat. "Look at what you've done!"

Daniel looked; he had no choice, but he couldn't see. Sweat, tears, and blood mixed to blur his vision.

"Do you hear something?" Carsu asked suddenly.

"Like what?" Abu growled, backhanding Daniel to the ground.

"A droning sound," Carsu replied, looking up towards the sky.

Daniel heard it, and he knew exactly what it was: a UAV sent from the SGC. Search and rescue. He didn't have the strength to distract his captors. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe it was even better if they did see it.

"There!" Carsu whispered harshly.

Abu watched the object fly over, and his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.

"Do you know what that is?" he demanded, yanking up Daniel's head.

"Yes," Daniel said, his eyes not wavering from Abu's.

"What is it?" Abu shouted, shaking Daniel fiercely.

"Your demise," Daniel replied, earning himself another heavy blow to the face.

"Come on, they're not worth it," Carsu said hurriedly, expecting the enemy to drop out of the sky at any moment.

"Quiet!" Abu barked. He needed to think. He had four prisoners. He started with six. They were from a planet called Earth, and they came through what they call a Stargate to study the abandoned buildings to try to learn who had once lived here. The one at his feet, Dr. Daniel Jackson, divulged no further information once he realized he and Carsu were not interested in their quest or their health. The others similarly refused to speak. 

Abu turned away, rubbing his temples. There was something he was forgetting; something important. Their crash-landing on this shell of a planet must have damaged his memory. Why were they wasting so much effort with these humans? The others: Branson, Cairns, Reynolds, and whatever the other three were called didn't mean anything. But Daniel Jackson? Why was he spending so much time with this one?

"Abu, what are we going to do?"

Abu looked at his partner with contempt. Even the human female had shown more courage. He opened his mouth to voice his opinion when the now familiar drone returned. Both men looked up, and Abu made his decision.

"Pick him up," he ordered. "He's our way off this hole."

"Leave him. We've got the-"

"Get him now!" Abu roared, pointing the zat at Carsu's chest.

"All right, all right, I was just trying to save us some time," Carsu grumbled as he hefted Daniel over his shoulder. "What about her?" 

Abu aimed and fired at Sharon's body.

Daniel closed his eyes in pain, anger, and sorrow.

"What about who?" Abu smiled, gesturing to the empty spot where Sharon had lain.

Carsu chuckled and shifted his burden as he followed Abu.

*************************

 

"They're coming back, sir," Sergeant Cooper reported as he peered through the small opening of their cell. "The UAV must've made them nervous."

"All of them?" Branson asked anxiously, straining at his ropes with renewed vigor.

"No, sir. I don't see Cairns or Reynolds. They're carrying Jackson. Christ," he whispered.

"What?" Branson asked, his heart pounding.

"It looks like they did a number on Dr. Jackson. Looks like they used a whip or something," he murmured, suddenly wishing he wasn't the one with window access.

"Oh, God, this can't be happening," Peter whispered.

"It can, and it is," Branson said evenly. "We've already gone through this, Taylor. I know this mission was supposed to be a cakewalk, but we all know the risks of going through the Stargate."

"That's not what I meant, Major," Peter said wearily. "Dr. Jackson explained the dangers to us in great detail. What I meant was, why are they fixating on him?"

"Sorry," Branson apologized. He should've known Dr. Jackson wouldn't let any of his assistants go through the 'gate unprepared. "We don't know if they are fixating on him," he said, but he couldn't help but be reminded of the Jackson Curse. "We don't know what's happened to Cairns or Reynolds, but the fact they're not with them leads me to believe that they're dead," he said bluntly. "I think you're right, Cooper. The UAV spooked them, and that can make them even more dangerous. They're not finished with us yet so everybody stay alert."

"I won't tell them anything," Peter vowed.

"I know you won't," Branson acknowledged with a sad smile. "Cooper, how far away are they?"

"About fifty feet, sir."

"Shit," he muttered, pulling angrily at the ropes binding him to the wall.

*********************

Jack saw red. Angry bees buzzed in his head as he clutched Daniel's jacket in his hands. He stared at the bloodied dirt at his feet.

"This blood is fresh, O'Neill," Teal'c stated, anger in his voice.

"Colonel," Sam said, holding out a bloodied stick.

Jack's jaw clenched. "Throw it away, Carter."

Jack knew it was Daniel's blood. It was always Daniel's blood. Was he still alive? That was the question that burned into his heart and mind. This was the spot where one of the images had vanished. Someone had died. Had that been Daniel? Jack reined in his anger and his fear. There were six live at stake, not just one. Mentally chastising himself for his lapse into selfishness, Jack adjusted his sunglasses against the glare of the sun.

"Let's go," he said quietly, his voice promising retribution.

***********

Daniel's stomach lurched, his wrist throbbed, and his back screamed with each jarring step that Carsu took. Hanging upside down didn't help. He hung limp and heavy, and Daniel wished he was a hundred pounds heavier. Anything to make the bastard work harder.

"Hurry up!" he heard Abu call from up ahead. 

Daniel could see a structure in the distance, the one where he and Branson had regained consciousness. He presumed the rest of his teammates were in there. Something swayed in his peripheral vision. His eyes focused on the object; a zatnikatel hooked into Carsu's belt. Carsu was left-handed and was wearing the gun on his left side within reach of Daniel's good right hand. Daniel's pulse quickened and he felt an adrenaline rush. Could it be that easy? Could he just reach over and pluck it out? Daniel swung his hand experimentally. No, not easy, but possible. 

Daniel licked his lips and concentrated. He'd only get one shot at it, and there was a good chance he'd end up dead for his efforts. He knew what Jack would do. No question.

Carsu stumbled and cursed.

Daniel's hand shot out, grabbed the zat, primed it, and shot Carsu. _Oh, shit,_ was Daniel's last thought as the electrical field enveloped them both.

****************

"Holy shit," Cooper whispered. 

"What?" Branson asked, creasing his struggling with his bonds.

"Dr. Jackson just took out the guy carrying him. He grabbed the bastard's zat."

"A zat? Damn, that means-"

"Yeah, he and Jackson both went down like a ton of bricks," Cooper winced. "The other guy's not happy. He..."

"Sergeant, what's happening?" Branson demanded, unnerved by Cooper's sudden silence.

Cooper turned away from the window.

"He's kicking the shit out of Jackson," he said quietly.

***************

It was a scene right out of one of Jack's worst nightmares: Daniel on the ground, bleeding and unresponsive, while some goon put the boots to him. Jack didn't know what he yelled, but the brute looked up, and then Teal'c's staff weapon blasted a hole in his chest.

Jack glanced at Teal'c, knowing he should chastise the Jaffa for killing a potential source of information. He met the dark remorseless eyes of his teammate and nodded. He knew the fury and rage Teal'c felt. He only wished he had beaten him to it.

Jack ran to his fallen comrade, shadowed by Sam and Teal'c while the members of SG-3 headed to the building occupied by SG-5, judging by the cheers and yelling from within.

Jack knelt beside his friend.

"Daniel?" he choked, his heart in his mouth as he took in the younger man's condition. He thought of the bloodied stick and anger surged behind his eyes. He felt for, found a pulse, and blinked away his tears.

"Sir?" Sam asked, her voice trembling.

"He's alive," Jack said.

"O'Neill, this one is awakening," Teal'c announced, his foot heavy on Carsu's chest.

"Do what you have to do," Jack said between clenched teeth, his eyes still on Daniel. "God, Carter, look at him. Where do we start?" he murmured, shaking his head.

"Sir, he's coming around," Sam said.

"Shit," Jack muttered, as Daniel's eyelids fluttered.

"Stay still, Daniel," Jack said softly, one hand gently pressing on his friend's chest. He felt Daniel tense under his touch. "It's okay. We're taking you home," Jack soothed, wiping sweat and blood off the younger man's face.

Daniel's eyes fully opened, and Jack's chest constricted as the wary blue eyes softened into recognition and relief.

"Jack," Daniel whispered, relaxing under the older man's touch.

"Hell of a way to rest, Daniel," Jack teased lightly, his thumb caressing the stubbled cheek.

Daniel's answering smile faltered, and his eyes widened in urgency.

"Jack, the others. They're-"

"They're okay, Daniel," Sam said, kneeling and opening her medkit. "SG-3's bringing them out now."

"Not all of them," Daniel murmured.

Jack exchanged an uneasy glance with Sam.

"Who'd we lose, Daniel?" Jack asked quietly.

"Sergeant Cairns and Sharon," Daniel answered dully.

"It's all right. We'll talk about it later," Jack said, patting the injured man's shoulder.

"I couldn't save them, Jack," Daniel whispered, his face scrunching in pain and sorrow.

"Don't talk, Daniel. Just let us take care of you. Carter?"

"We should splint his wrist first. It's broken again," Sam said, quelling her anger.

"My back," Daniel rasped. "Have to get off my back."

"Easy, let me do that," Jack said, placing his hands under Daniel's shoulders and easing him up so he could lean sideways against him, taking pressure off his back. Jack felt the stickiness of blood immediately, but he swallowed his outrage.

"Colonel," Sam whispered when she saw her teammate's torn and bleeding back.

"His arm, Carter," Jack said.

"Yes, sir," she said, focusing her attention on the task at hand. "I'll need you to hold him still, sir. This is going to hurt."

"I will take your place, O'Neill," Teal'c said gravely.

Jack glanced over and saw their prisoner, thoroughly bound and unconscious. He nodded to Teal'c and relinquished his hold on Daniel. He carefully re-positioned himself and held Daniel's arm firmly while Sam probed the broken bones. He tried to block out the flinching under his fingers and focused on the remaining members of SG-5 who were emerging from their captivity.

The rescuers and the rescuees gathered around the solemn members of SG-1.

"What the hell happened, Branson?" Jack asked as he held Daniel's arm rigid while the younger man tried to pull his arm free of Sam's grasp.

Branson wrenched his gaze from Daniel. He looked back at Jack and explained about the footprints, the Goa'uld shock grenades, and their subsequent capture.

"They said their ship crashed and was damaged. We were their ticket out, but they wanted more."

"Let me guess: gate addresses," Jack said wearily.

"They concentrated on Dr. Jackson," Branson said. "I tried to divert them, but-"

"You don't have to explain, Major," Jack said.

"They took him away," the major continued. "That one came back later...twice," he said, gesturing to Carsu. "He took Sgt. Cairns and Dr. Reynolds. We haven't seen them since."

Jack felt Daniel flinch at the names and he placed a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder.

"They didn't make it," Jack said, looking at Branson and shaking his head to signify dropping the subject.

"Colonel, permission to search for their ship. There may be something of value-"

"Permission denied, Branson," Jack said. He already had what he valued; nothing else even came close. "You'll report to General Hammond. If he wants to send another team, that's his call. You've all been through enough."

"Colonel O'Neill!" Cooper said suddenly. "This man is dead," he reported, looking down at Carsu.

Jack looked sharply at Teal'c.

"I did not harm him, O'Neill, although it took great restraint," Teal'c replied.

"Damn it," Jack muttered.

"Colonel," Cooper said, an odd catch to his voice. "They're not real."

"What?" Jack and Branson said in unison.

"They're not real," Cooper repeated.

"That one's bleeding," Branson said, looking at Abu.

"It's superficial, sir. Look," Cooper said, pulling away the flesh from around the staff wound and exposing the circuits lying underneath. "It's a robot."

"Carter, check it out," Jack said. "I can finish here."

"Yes, sir."

"Daniel, I'm going to give you something to help with the pain, and then we're getting the hell out of here," Jack said quietly.

Daniel nodded dully, his body wracked with pain, and his emotions raw and too near the surface. Bitter tears of frustration and helplessness leaked from his eyes.

Jack saw his friend's tears and fought back his anger at Daniel's ordeal. He looked into Teal'c's dark eyes and saw the same sentiment.

Jack quickly injected the morphine and then used the backs of his fingers to brush the tears from Daniel's face.

"You're a hell of a man," Jack murmured fondly. "Let's get you home. Teal'c, will you-"

"I will be honoured to carry Daniel Jackson," Teal'c thrummed solemnly. 

"Branson, are any of your people injured?" Jack asked, watching Daniel closely for signs of unconsciousness.

"No, Colonel. Just scrapes and bruises."

"Okay. Carter, what have you got?"

"It's like Sgt. Cooper said, sir. They're both androids. They have a superficial layer of skin and flesh to pass as human. Just enough to emit heat radiation, but underneath, they're wires and computer circuits," Sam reported.

"They had shock grenades though," Jack said thoughtfully. "Teal'c, did the Goa'uld ever tinker with artificial life forms?"

"Not to my knowledge, O'Neill. They would serve no purpose as hosts," Teal'c responded.

"But they might make good soldiers," Jack said.

"Indeed," Teal'c acknowledged.

"Dr. Jackson thought they might be mercenaries or bounty hunters," Branson said. "They seemed to be acting on their own agenda. You should've seen him, Colonel," he said, looking down at Daniel. "I'd have Dr. Jackson on my team any day."

"Sorry, Major, but he's mine," Jack said. "Right, Daniel?"

"Daniel Jackson is unconscious, O'Neill," Teal'c said as he kneeled to gently pick up the limp body.

"Sir, shouldn't we clean his back?" Sam asked.

"We'll let Doc take care of that. The sooner we get out of here, the better," Jack replied.

"What of the androids, O'Neill?" Teal'c inquired.

Jack looked at the two bodies with loathing.

"We'll bring them with us," he said.

"I'll take care of it, Colonel," Branson said, determined to be of some use on this disastrous mission.

"Okay. Let's get out of here," Jack said grimly.

************

Daniel was surrounded by noise; dull, but insistent sounds that were familiar, but not necessarily welcome. Maybe he was dreaming? He concentrated on waking up. No, too hard.

"Daniel?"

_Jack?_

"Open your eyes, Daniel. You've slept long enough," Jack said softly, a tired smile tugging at his lips.

Daniel's eyes felt sticky, but not as gummy as his brain. Confusing images clamoured for attention in his crowded mind. Pain, death, pain, and more death. No, he didn't want to face this.

"No," Daniel moaned, shaking his head.

"Sorry, Danny," Jack murmured. "Can't let you do that." 

Jack leaned over and firmly took Daniel's head between his hands.

"Open your eyes, Daniel," Jack said loudly. "I need you to open your eyes."

Daniel felt pressure on his face and an insistent voice. Jack's voice. His eyes fluttered.

"That's it, Daniel. You're doing fine," Jack encouraged.

Jack's grip relaxed to a caress when dull blue eyes focused on his face.

"Hey, welcome back," Jack said softly.

Daniel blinked slowly as his eyes tracked the room. The infirmary. He looked back at Jack who was still holding him gently.

"This is getting old," Daniel rasped weakly.

Jack laughed in surprise and brushed Daniel's hair lightly. "I'll get Doc. Don't go away," he said.

"I'm right behind you, Colonel."

Jack turned and saw Janet looking at him warmly. There was a time when he would have been embarrassed or even outraged at being observed in such a vulnerable state. Thank God, that O'Neill had taken a hike. He smiled and nodded then turned back to Daniel.

"I'll be right outside," Jack said.

Daniel nodded. "A lot to talk about," he murmured, his eyes filling with pain.

"When you're ready. Not before," Jack promised.

Daniel smiled in gratitude, but they both knew Daniel would never be ready to talk just as they both knew he would talk as soon as Janet cleared him fit for the ordeal.

****************

"How are you feeling, Dr. Jackson?" General Hammond asked kindly.

"Much better, sir, thank you," Daniel responded, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

"I'm glad to hear it, son. Colonel O'Neill tells me you're ready to talk about P2N-651."

Daniel glanced up at Jack who was hovering protectively beside his bed.

"Yes, sir," he replied, returning his attention to the general.

"Take your time, Dr. Jackson," Hammond cautioned. "Major Branson and the rest of SG-5 have already told us most of what happened. We just need to know what happened to Sgt. Cairns and Dr. Reynolds."

"Just," Daniel whispered, grief clearly etched on his pale countenance.

"Poor choice of words, son. I'm sorry," Hammond apologized.

"No, I'm sorry," Daniel apologized hastily. "I didn't mean-"

"Daniel," Jack said, anxious to get this ordeal over with for Daniel's sake as well as his own, "Branson said those two goons took you away shortly after they brought in the rest of SG-5."

"I don't know why they took me away from the others," Daniel began. "I thought they were taking me to their craft or to the Stargate, but then they just stopped and knocked me to the ground. Their actions didn't always make sense," he said, shaking his head.

"It does make some sense, Daniel," Jack said. "They were androids, and we've ascertained that they were damaged when their ship crashed. Their programming likely short-circuited causing them to act peculiar."

Daniel absorbed the explanation and nodded. "Maybe," he conceded. "Anyway, after that they, uh, sort of roughed me up a bit."

"A bit?" Jack said incredulously.

"Except for the broken wrist, most of this," Daniel said, looking at his injuries, "came later. A lot of it just because they could," he finished quietly.

Jack and Hammond glanced at each other grimly. Hammond took a deep breath before continuing.

"Major Branson said you suspected they may have been bounty hunters or mercenaries."

"Yes," Daniel replied, pausing to take a sip of water. "They had an arrogance about them."

"Arrogance, Dr. Jackson?" Hammond queried.

"Yes," Daniel said, looking at Jack. "The kind I've seen in certain military personnel."

Jack's jaw clenched and he looked away as he reacted to the words. 

"I'm referring to people like Maybourne and Simmons," Daniel clarified, afraid that Jack had misinterpreted his meaning. "The kind who feel they're above everyone else and they expect you to know it."

Jack relaxed and looked back at Daniel. "Yes, I know the type well."

"Did they give you any idea of who they worked for," Hammond asked.

Daniel redirected his gaze to Hammond.

"I asked them where they got the Goa'uld shock grenades. They said, 'We ask the questions', and then they, uh, took turns."

Jack and Hammond looked at each other, quiet anger at their colleague and friend's injustice clearly evident in their eyes.

"My hands weren't tied, but even so I couldn't put up much of a fight," Daniel continued. "They used a branch. Anyhow, they finally got tired of that," he shrugged.

"They started asking questions again," Jack guessed.

"About gate addresses, our defences, what technology we had. The little things," Daniel said with a tired smile. "I didn't tell them anything. Even if I had they would've killed us all. Confessing wasn't really an option."

"You only had one option," Jack said grimly. "Tough it out until we got worried."

"I knew when the next check-in was. I tried to keep an eye on my watch. Kind of got distracted, but I figured..." Daniel's voice trailed off as he closed his eyes, squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"Daniel?" Jack said worriedly.

"Dr. Jackson, would you like to take a rest?" Hammond asked.

"No, no, it's just," Daniel frowned and shook his head. "You shouldn't have come when you did. There were still at least two hours before we checked in."

"Colonel O'Neill insisted on going," Hammond said.

Daniel looked guardedly at Jack.

"It's not what you think," Jack said, holding his hands up defensively. "I know damn well you can look after yourself. I just had this feeling. I couldn't shake it. The more I tried, the worse it got," Jack explained.

"I'm glad," Daniel said quietly. "Thank you for believing him," he said, looking at Hammond.

"Colonel O'Neill can be very convincing when he needs to be," Hammond said.

"Yes, yes he can," Daniel said softly, his gaze gliding from Hammond to Jack.

Jack felt shivers run up his back at the quiet testament. It had been two years since he'd lied to Daniel about their friendship, but sometimes, like now, it felt like yesterday.

"I'm glad you're on our side," Daniel observed.

"Only place to be," Jack replied.

Daniel smiled and closed his eyes wearily. He took a couple of deep breaths and then continued his testimony.

"The one called Carsu left and came back with Sgt. Cairns. The sergeant wasn't very happy with them when he saw me. He told them they wouldn't get any information out of him either and to basically, you know..."

"Have sex and travel?" Jack guessed.

"Pretty much," Daniel acknowledged.

"How did they react to that?" Jack asked, having a pretty good idea of the answer.

Daniel opened his eyes and looked at Jack. "Quickly," he said, "very quickly. The other one, Abu, pointed a zat...my zat...at Cairns and said, 'Talk or he dies'. Cairns looked at me and said, 'Don't even think about it, Dr. Jackson. I know the risks. We all do.'" Daniel's voice cracked and Jack reached out and gripped his friend's forearm.

"I tried to convince them not to do it."

"They'd already made up their minds, Daniel," Jack said.

"They hoped to shock you into a confession," Hammond added.

"They shot him once, twice, three times. Until then, I didn't know if they were familiar with how a zat worked," Daniel said dully.

"General, I think we should take a break now," Jack said, his hand still on Daniel's arm.

"No, no, I want to finish this, Jack," Daniel entreated.

Jack knew what this was doing to Daniel, and he knew how he'd react in a similar situation: get it the hell over with. He looked at the pleading blue eyes and nodded.

"It's your call, Daniel," Jack said, squeezing the younger man's arm before releasing it.

Daniel took a deep, shaky breath and continued.

"Carsu left again and returned with Sharon."

"What did she say?" Jack asked.

Daniel shrugged and said, "I don't really remember. I was kind of out of it by then."

Jack, attune to Daniel's evasive tactics, pressed on.

"What did she say, Daniel?"

"It's not important," Daniel said, his composure slipping rapidly.

"You owe it to her memory, son," Hammond said gently.

"And you owe it to yourself," Jack added.

"It was nothing," Daniel said defensively.

"Daniel, what did Sharon say?" Jack asked firmly.

Daniel collapsed against his pillows, angry and defeated.

"She said...she said it was an honour to have worked with me, and if I told them a damn thing she'd haunt me forever."

"Then they killed her," Jack said quietly, his calm voice belying his anger.

"Yes," Daniel said, looking down at his hands. "They shot her twice. They left her body so I could see what I'd done."

"You didn't kill her, Daniel," Jack said evenly.

"I don't know what they planned to do next," Daniel said, ignoring Jack's assurance. "Probably kill the rest of us one by one, but they saw the UAV. They argued about what to do. Carsu wanted to leave me and flee, but Abu believed I still had some worth."

"And Dr. Reynolds body?" Hammond asked, remembering the UAV transmission and knowing what the answer would be.

"Abu shot her," Daniel answered softly.

Hammond looked at Jack and nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Jackson. We know the rest." 

Daniel licked his lips and nodded, his eyes still downcast.

"One more thing," Hammond said gently. "I've delayed the memorial service for Sgt. Cairns and Dr. Reynolds until you're well enough to attend."

Daniel looked up. "Thank you, sir. I appreciate that very much," he said sincerely.

"Well, we'll let you get some rest, Doctor," Hammond said, standing up.

"I'd like to stay for a few minutes, General," Jack said.

"Of course, Colonel." 

Hammond looked down at Daniel in concern. "It's good to have you back, son. You did everything you could."

Daniel looked up, his eyes and face haunted.

"Thank you, sir," he whispered.

Hammond smiled and left the room, leaving Jack alone with Daniel. 

There were a thousand things Jack wanted to say to Daniel. He wanted to tell him he did the right thing. Tell him how proud he made him feel. He wanted to tell him it would get better, that the survivor's guilt that was weighing heavily on him would pass. But he couldn't find the words. He was feeling too much anger and helplessness.

"Damn it, Daniel," Jack finally murmured.

Daniel lifted soul-weary eyes. He saw the anger and the frustration in Jack's eyes that he himself felt. He also saw compassion, promise, and love.

"I know," Daniel said, a shadow of a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Jack swallowed the lump in his throat and coughed in a poor attempt to cover his discomfort.

Daniel smiled at the familiarity of the gesture.

"It'll be okay, Jack."

Jack looked at Daniel and frowned.

"For crying out loud, Daniel, that's supposed to be my line," he grumbled.

"Got tired of waiting," Daniel shrugged, and this time the smile did reach his eyes.

"I was getting to it," Jack muttered defensively. "I just have, you know..."

"I know," Daniel replied.

"But I'm getting better," Jack said brightly.

"You are," Daniel agreed.

"Good," Jack smiled, pleased with the confirmation.

"So," Daniel said.

"So," Jack replied.

"So, it's time you let my patient rest, Colonel," Janet said.

"How are you feeling, Daniel?" Janet asked, glancing at his chart.

"Better," Daniel said truthfully. Physically, he felt like shit, but after talking about what happened, and Jack's continued presence and concern, his spirits had improved vastly.

"That's good to hear," she said, checking his pulse. "How are the pain meds working?" 

"Fine."

"On a scale of one to five, where are you now?" Janet asked as she wrote on his chart.

Daniel's lack of response caused her to look directly at her patient.

"Daniel?" she queried, her dark eyes narrowing.

Daniel's eyes flicked from Janet to Jack, back to Janet, and then down to his lap.

"Um, about a two," he murmured.

"Daniel," she said knowingly.

"And a half," he amended, glancing at her. "Yes, about a two and a half."

"Daniel," Jack said, using the tone that always broke Daniel's composure.

"Okay, maybe a three...or a four," he admitted, sinking into his pillows.

"A four?" Jack cried. "For crying out loud, Daniel, what're you trying to prove? That you can handle pain, or that you're just stupid?"

"Colonel!" Janet hissed, glaring daggers at the older man.

"What?" Jack snapped, turning to Janet and then taking an unconscious step backward at the anger in her eyes. "All right, I'm sorry," he said. "It's just...damn it, can you give him something, Doc?" Jack sighed.

"Can I trust you not to upset my patient while I'm gone?" she countered.

"I'll be good," Jack said.

"Fine," she said curtly. She turned to Daniel and said gently, "I won't be long." 

Jack and Daniel were left alone in an uneasy silence. They looked briefly at each other and then retreated into themselves. Daniel closed his eyes, and Jack sat heavily in the chair.

Jack sat hunched over staring at his clasped hands, clenching and unclenching. He glanced up at Daniel and felt all the rage at his friend's torment come rushing back. He struggled with his emotions, bringing them into check. He looked behind him and saw Janet coming back. He help up his hand and shook his head. She stopped. Jack held up three fingers and she nodded and quietly walked away. Jack sat up and looked at Daniel.

"It doesn't work, Daniel," he said quietly.

Daniel opened his eyes in confusion, and he looked at Jack.

"Excuse me?"

"All the physical pain in the world won't take away the pain you're feeling inside," Jack explained softly.

Daniel's eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in denial. He opened his mouth to protest, but the words stuck in his throat. He fought the tears that burned his eyes.

"You think you deserve to suffer for what happened," Jack said. "Why are you alive when two good people are dead? Trust me, Daniel, you can't fight pain with pain. It doesn't work."

Daniel's face scrunched up in pain and despair. Tears leaked out that he so desperately tried to hold in.

Jack's heart clenched at the sight. _God, Danny, let me help you._ He reached for a Kleenex and handed it to Daniel who swiped at the offending tears.

"Then what does?" Daniel choked, looking at Jack.

"Time, friends, and family," Jack replied. "Everything you've got right here."

Daniel stared at his friend and felt a fresh surge of tears. "Damn it," he murmured, holding his hand out for another tissue.

Jack smiled and handed him two more tissues.

"Daniel, you were in a no-win situation. If you talked, they would've killed you. If you didn't talkï¿½well, we know how that played out. You did what you had to do. You survived and I, for one, am proud of you and damn glad you're alive."

Daniel's inner pain diminished considerably at Jack's words. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed Jack's absolution and having his declaration of pride was a bonus that he'd treasure for the rest of his life.

"If you hadn't come when you did," Daniel said.

"It's because of you I came when I did. Wait a minute," Jack said, frowning at the way the words came out, "let me rephrase that."

Daniel's pain-filled eyes flickered with amusement.

"What I'm trying to say is that in spite of the differences we may have had, or have," Jack corrected, "there's this...thing between us," he said, waving his hands.

Daniel smiled at his friend's efforts and felt a warmth that did more to ease his pain than any drug. While Jack was busy staring at the floor trying to think up what to say, Daniel saw Janet standing in the doorway. She made a 'Should I go?' gesture and Daniel nodded in assent and appreciation. He looked back at Jack.

"Janet wants me to talk to somebody," Daniel said quietly.

"You should," Jack said, looking up. "It'll help."

"I don't know if I can," Daniel admitted.

"You already are," Jack replied with a shrug.

Daniel's eyes were bright, and Jack saw a myriad of emotions in the blue depths: pain; sorrow; hope; regret; fear, and confusion.

_What am I thinking?_ Daniel thought sadly. _Jack hates this stuff. He's already bending over backwards to make me feel better. I called him a stupid son-of-a-bitch for God's sake._

"Colin Branson should talk to someone," Daniel said evasively. "He must feel terrible."

Jack sighed inwardly at the blatant avoidance tactic.

"He will, and he does. He lost control of the situation and people died," Jack said matter-of-factly.

Daniel's eyes flashed with sudden anger.

"You make it sound like it was his fault," Daniel said accusingly, his previous feelings of goodwill suddenly yanked from him.

"He was the commanding officer," Jack replied.

"And what? That makes him responsible for every thing that goes wrong?" Daniel said indignantly. "For every shitty deal the universe throws at him even when it's beyond his control?"

"Yes," Jack said quietly. "That's the job of a CO."

"So every time-" Daniel cut his tirade short. He looked at Jack through new eyes. The grey hair, the lines etched deeply into the rugged features, the brown eyes that laughed so little of late.

Jack saw the comprehension in Daniel's eyes and waited.

"We're a team, Jack," Daniel said evenly. "We're supposed to look after each other."

"We do," Jack agreed, "but when the dust settles, I take responsibility."

"That's not fair. It's not right," Daniel exclaimed.

"It is what it is, Daniel," Jack shrugged. "I accept it, and I take it seriously. That's why I sometimes lose my patience."

"With me," Daniel said.

"With everyone," Jack corrected.

"But mostly me," Daniel countered, his thought whirling. "That's why you didn't back me up with Reece, isn't it? You knew it was going to end badly, but I was like a dog with a bone."

"After the Replicators showed up, I knew it could only end one way," Jack said.

Daniel lay back against the pillows. "I promised I'd protect her. I told her I'd be her friend," Daniel said, an ache in his voice.

"You were her friend, Daniel, and you protected her to the best of your ability. You can't ask anymore of yourself," Jack stated.

"But you can, and Branson can?" Daniel challenged as he shifted in the bed and then grimaced as pain flared up his back.

"Crap, what's taking Fraiser so long?" Jack grumbled, standing up. _I said a few minutes, Doc, not thirty._

"I'm okay," Daniel gasped, settling into a more comfortable position. "I think some dressing got caught, that's all."

"Daniel," Jack sighed, "I'm not saying Branson did anything wrong or could've done something different to change what happened. I wasn't there, but-"

"Someone has to take responsibility," Daniel muttered.

"It's the military way," Jack smiled.

"Glad I'm a civilian," Daniel murmured.

"So am I," Jack said quietly.

Daniel raised surprised but curious eyes to his friend.

Jack smiled and shrugged. "Never a dull moment with you around. Oh, before I forget, Branson wanted me to give you this. Seems you've made another friend."

Daniel took the small well-worn journal from Jack. He opened it carefully, and his face lit up with delight.

"Jack, do you know what this is?" he cried.

"It looks like a bunch of kid's drawings and scribblings," Jack said.

"Exactly! It's his diary of Greece, when he was a boy. Jack, these are good," Daniel murmured. "Look at the detail on this frieze. I wish he'd brought this himself."

"Thanks a lot," Jack said, feigning hurt.

"What?" Daniel asked in surprise. "No, no, I didn't mean that, Jack."

"You're so easy," Jack said, chuckling, "but to tell you the truth, Branson didn't think you'd be pleased to see him."

Daniel looked at Jack in surprise and then scowled.

"It's that military thing again, isn't it?"

"Get used to it," Jack shrugged.

"Ribbon devices I can get used to. People I care about acting like-"

"Careful, Daniel," Jack cautioned, holding up a silencing finger.

"Just tell him I expect to see him before the day's over, okay?" Daniel requested.

"That I can do," Jack smiled. "Right now though," he said, standing up, "I'm going to hunt down Doc. You're looking a little green around the gills," he said in concern.

"Wait, before you go," Daniel said, sitting up straighter.

Jack cocked one eyebrow and waited patiently.

"Um, about talking to someone about what happened," Daniel said.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know I won't talk to McKenzie. Intuitively, I know he did what he thought was right, and in the end he did listen to me, but..."

"No one's going to force you to talk to McKenzie," Jack said, his tone more promise than fact.

Daniel nodded gratefully. "I know there's a lot of people available," he continued, "but is there anyone you would recommend? I mean, you know me better than anyone."

"You mean, who do I know that could put up with you?" Jack asked, rephrasing Daniel's query.

"Basically," Daniel admitted.

"That's a tough one, Daniel," Jack said, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow in concentration. "To be honest, I can only think of one person, but he uses a certain brand of therapy with his sessions."

Daniel saw the glint in the older man's eyes, and he felt an infusion of warmth and trust.

"Does this therapy involve a primitive ritual called fishing?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Ah, I see you've heard of him," Jack said.

"He's a legend," Daniel smiled, 'or is it his fish that are a legend?" he mused, frowning in concentration.

"No, I think it's his infinite patience that's a legend," Jack countered.

"Now you're talking myths and fairytales," Daniel said good-naturedly.

"Are you badgering my patient, Colonel?"

"Doc, I didn't hear you come in. Did you change your shoes?" Jack asked.

"Very funny, Colonel," Janet drawled. "Now, Dr. Jackson, it's time for you to get some sleep," she said, administering a painkiller into his IV line.

Daniel scowled but lay back placidly. 

Janet looked at Jack in surprise. "What did you say to him?"

"It's just this calming presence I have," Jack shrugged. 

"Myths and fairytales," Daniel murmured sleepily.

Jack grinned and patted Daniel's foot. "Wait till you see my bill," he said and then left the infirmary.

Daniel grunted but smiled. 

Janet could see Daniel was exhausted, but more importantly, she could see that much of the pain clouding her patient's eyes earlier had lifted. _No doubt the Colonel's doing,_ she thought happily. 

"Sam and Teal'c will be back soon so you better get some sleep while you can, Daniel," Janet warned.

"I think I can handle that," Daniel mumbled and rolled carefully onto his side. 

Janet stood and watched her patient for a few minutes. She smiled as he relaxed into sleep, and the lines in his face that indicated his suffering lessened and vanished.

_Not much of a rest was it, Daniel?_ she thought sadly as she pulled the sheet up to cover his shoulders.

"Sleep well, Daniel," she whispered.

 

**********************

Daniel automatically moved towards SG-1 while Jack, Sam, and Teal'c moved just as automatically to close ranks around their friend and teammate.

 

"That was wonderful, Daniel," Sam said softly, her eyes bright and wet.

"Indeed. I was most moved by your eulogy, Daniel Jackson. You did Sgt. Cairns and Dr. Reynolds a great honour," Teal'c said solemnly.

"Thanks, guys," Daniel said gratefully.

Jack hated memorials; always had and always would. No matter how simple or how ceremonial they were, it all came down to one simple fact: someone died long before they should have. But Sam and Teal'c were right. Daniel's words had been eloquent and from the heart. Nothing less than he'd learn to expect from his extraordinary friend.

Daniel felt Jack's hand grasp the nape of his neck. He glanced sideways and saw all he needed to see in the warm, brown eyes. He smiled and felt Jack's hand squeeze. There was no need for words. Daniel nodded and basked in his circle of friends, drawing strength and comfort. 

"Daniel," Jack whispered, close to his ear.

Daniel turned and Jack motioned with his eyes. Daniel looked around and saw Branson and Peter slowly make their way through the mourners towards them. He felt Jack shake his shoulder gently and then remove his hand. Daniel missed the contact immediately.

"Daniel," Branson said, clasping Daniel's hand warmly. "I want to thank you for what you said and for everything you did for us on 651."

"Um, thank you," Daniel said uncomfortably.

"Sharon would've been a wreck, Dr. Jackson," Peter said with a laugh. "She was so easy to embarrass," he added for the rest of SG-1's benefit, who smiled in understanding.

Jack quickly sensed Daniel's unease and jumped in to help.

"Major, why don't you and your men join us at my place tomorrow? Kind of an impromptu wake sort of thing. That includes you, too, Taylor," Jack said, looking at Peter.

"We'd like that very much, Colonel," Branson said, pleased and surprised by the invitation.

"That also includes Sgt. Stein," Jack added. "I heard 651 was the only mission he ever missed."

Branson nodded gravely. "He and Cairns graduated from the Academy together. It'll be a long time before he gets over this one."

"Well, that's what this wake is all about, and with any luck we'll help him along in that goal," Jack said.

"I'll see that he arrives, Colonel," Branson said. "In fact, I'll tell him it's an order," he smiled, moving away to do just that.

"Be there at 1400 hours," Jack called out.

"Jack? Tomorrow?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Oy," Jack said, blowing out a breath. "It just kinda popped out, okay?"

"Sir, that doesn't give you much time," Sam said. "Do you have-"

"Carter, I don't have a damn thing," Jack said. "Can you and-"

"Teal'c and I will take care of the food, sir," Sam smiled, taking her cue from Teal'c's nod.

"And Peter and I will get the liquid refreshments," Daniel offered.

"What do I do?" Jack grumbled.

"Clean house," Daniel and Sam said together.

*******************

Daniel put the last of the dishes away and sighed as a tendril of melancholy wormed its way into his mind. The wake had been poignant, raucous, and cathartic. It had also been window-dressing. Two people had died. Two lives he could have saved, although for how long was anyone's guess. Bottom line, he kept his mouth shut and because of that, two people were killed right in front of his eyes. If they had begged for his help would he have talked? Thank God, he never had to find out. What if it had been Jack, Sam, or Teal'c? He had come so close on Nyan's planet when Jack had fallen against the bars of his cage and was electrocuting himself. So close to telling the bastards about Teal'c. How long could be keep doing this? Watching people he cared about suffer and, God help him, die.

"Damn it," Daniel muttered, "stop thinking about what-ifs." He was going to make coffee, but decided it would be better to leave now. Besides, he had a feeling Jack had passed out on the couch. He smiled at memories of the older man's antics just hours before. His knees would be screaming tomorrow.

His mind made up, Daniel passed quickly through the living-room where Jack was indeed sprawled on the couch, breathing heavily. Daniel retrieved his jacket, but was dismayed not to hear the familiar jingle of his keys. Had he taken them out and left them somewhere? No, he always put them back in his pocket. He patted down his shirt, pants, and jacket again. Nothing. _Damn it._

"I've got them," Jack said nonchalantly, his eyes still closed.

"I thought you were asleep," Daniel said.

"Nah," Jack said, sitting up and swinging his legs off the couch. "I just did that so you'd finish the dishes."

"You'd think I'd learn," Daniel said dryly.

"You'd think," Jack agreed.

"May I have my keys?" Daniel requested.

"Nope."

"Jack," Daniel sighed, "I didn't have that much to drink."

"I know," Jack agreed, "but I did."

"And this affects me how?" Daniel asked in confusion.

"We've got some unfinished business," Jack said, rubbing his eyes. "No, that's not true," he amended. "I have some unfinished business."

"You've lost me," Daniel said, shaking his head.''

"That's because you didn't drink enough," Jack explained reasonably. "It loosens the tongue and the mind."

"It's late, Jack. I'm really tired," Daniel said, hoping to guilt Jack into letting him leave.

"If I let you go home, will you go to sleep?"

"I promise. I'll go to bed."

"Not just to bed, Daniel, but sleep. Will you go to sleep? Can you go to sleep?" Jack clarified.

Daniel knew Jack wasn't asking to be difficult. He was asking because he cared.

"No, and no," Daniel answered softly.

Jack nodded knowingly. "I can't sleep either."

"So, I guess I'll make that coffee after all," Daniel murmured.

"Make it strong," Jack said, twisting his neck around to ease the knots.

Daniel returned to the kitchen, his mind whirling. _Unfinished business?_ Images of Reece popped into his head, and he sighed. _Great. After all I've been through, is he going to rake me over the coals for that?_ Daniel immediately felt ashamed of his thoughts. It was totally unfair and uncalled for. Jack had been nothing but supportive since rescuing him and the others from P2N-651. Didn't the wake just prove that?

"Are you growing the beans yourself?" Jack called loudly from the living-room.

"Almost done!" Daniel replied, smiling to himself.

"I'm not getting any younger out here!" Jack retorted.

"It'll just be a few minutes," Daniel said, returning to the living-room.

"Okay, well I better make room," Jack said, unzipping his fly as he breezed by Daniel.

"Take your time," Daniel said, "and uh, thanks for sharing."

Daniel sat down on the couch. He was beyond tired. He was exhausted from trying to outrun his own thoughts. Afraid if he slowed down for one second he'd have to face his own soul and judge it. So many people had died from his actions over the years, or lack of actions. So many lives lost. So many future lives that would never be. He leaned back into the couch and gazed at the familiar surroundings. There were times when he felt more comfortable in Jack's house than he did in his own home. There were other times when he felt like a complete stranger, unwanted and uninvited. Right now, he felt somewhere in between. He closed his eyes and thought of Reece: young, scared, and lonely. It seemed a lifetime ago, but he still felt the pain, anger and frustration at her death. His own words tormented him: _I promise. No one will hurt you. Show you my world?_

"Do you want anything with your coffee?" Jack called from the kitchen.

"No, thank you," Daniel replied, sitting up. Liquor was the last thing he needed. No, the last thing he needed was to talk about Reece. He stood up and walked over to the window, drawing the curtains aside. The moon was high, a bright fingernail moon. He couldn't look at a moon on this or any other planet without thinking of Sha're. It had been two years since he last saw her. Two years since he buried her under the warm sands of Abydos. Four years since he last made love to her under the stars. A lifetime. The moon blurred, and Daniel blinked away his tears.

Jack watched Daniel from the kitchen doorway, and he wondered if he was being selfish. His friend had just been through hell. Now just because he was ready to talk, what gave him the right to dredge up more misery for Daniel? Well, the rules were different in this game. Daniel didn't have to talk. He just needed to listen because there were things Jack needed to say.

Jack turned and went back into the kitchen. He picked up the two mugs of coffee and yelled, "Wake up! Coffee's coming!"

Daniel smiled at the warning. Jack could be the most infuriating son-of-a-bitch, but he could also be very endearing in his own way. Daniel sent a silent message of love to Sha're and let the curtain close.

"Sure you don't want anything with this?" Jack asked, handing Daniel his coffee.

"No, this is fine, thanks," Daniel replied, accepting the mug and taking a grateful swallow.

"If you change your mind," Jack said, sitting on the couch.

Daniel nodded at the offer and sat in the chair opposite Jack.

Jack sipped his coffee, struggling with his opening line.

"Daniel, I know this isn't a good time for you, but I kind of made a promise."

Daniel's eyebrows rose in curiosity, but he remained silent.

"What I mean is, you don't have to say anything, but I would like you to listen. There's stuff I need to say," Jack explained.

"Stuff," Daniel murmured.

"About Reece," Jack said.

Daniel nodded and licked his lips. "I'm listening."

"Okay," Jack said, clasping his mug between his hands. "First of all, I am sorry about the way it ended. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you."

Daniel blinked and nodded slightly. "But," he said softly.

"But," Jack reiterated, "I'm not sorry for what I did."

"Killing her," Daniel said, wincing inwardly at the callousness of his own words.

"Saving the SGC and the planet," Jack corrected.

"And my sorry ass," Daniel added with a wan smile.

"Yeah, that too," Jack agreed.

"You don't have to explain, Jack. I know there was a countdown. You didn't have a choice," Daniel said.

"Yeah, yeah, and the green grass grew all around," Jack sighed. "Would you let me say what I have to say?"

Daniel made a 'be my guest' gesture and sipped his coffee.

"Listen, I've thought a lot about what happened. Not just in the gateroom, but ever since we brought her back to the SGC," Jack said.

Daniel's eyebrows rose at the term, 'her'. At the time, Jack always referred to Reece as an 'it' or 'a machine'. Maybe this was Jack's attempt to mollify him.

"I know I didn't welcome her with open arms," Jack continued. "I wasn't very supportive. She was obviously very important to you, but I just couldn't put my suspicions aside."

"Suspicions?" Daniel queried.

"I'm a soldier, Daniel. When I see a lone survivor, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Look at Cassandra. Thank God, that all worked out, but we in effect had brought a time bomb home. So when we discovered Reece was a robot, well, all my instincts said, 'Danger, Will Robinson.'"

"She was a child," Daniel said.

"No, Daniel. She was a powerful machine who created the most deadly foe in the universe because she was bored," Jack amended. "And yes, maybe I did destroy the only chance we'd ever have of stopping them, but I believe I did the right thing given the situation."

"She could have been reprogrammed," Daniel said. "We could-"

"You're still thinking with your heart, Daniel," Jack said gently. "We don't know how she created them, or even how she was created. We do know that the technology that created her was far beyond our comprehension, and maybe even the Asgard's. Daniel, it's one thing to play with fire, but to blindly tamper with something capable of creating the Replicators, hell, you might as well strap a nuclear bomb to my ass with a sign that says 'kick me'."

The image brought a small smile to Daniel's lips. "You can leave the bomb out," he said.

Jack smiled and placed his mug down. He still had a long way to go.

"I don't know about you, but I think I need something stronger," Jack murmured.

"Maybe I will have a little something," Daniel decided.

"Top up your coffee?" Jack offered.

"Please," Daniel replied, handing his mug to Jack.

Jack went into the kitchen and splashed cold water on his face. God, he hated this stuff. Sara could spill her guts at the drop of a hat, but Jack had been trained all his life to suck it up and hide his feelings. Remain in control at all times. _Crap. Whoever thought keeping your mouth shut and your heart closed was being in control ought to be strung up._

Jack dried his face and gave his head a shake. He could do this. He would do this. For Daniel, and for their friendship. He poured a healthy shot of Kahlua for Daniel and a whiskey for himself. He topped up their coffees and returned to the living-room, balancing glasses and mugs.

"Are you sure you never worked in a restaurant, Jack?" Daniel quipped as he helped lighten Jack's load.

"Busboy, actually. First summer in college. Damn near killed me," Jack replied.

Daniel smiled and wondered what a young Jack O'Neill must have been like.

"I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch," Jack said. "You wouldn't have had any trouble recognizing me."

"That's a little harsh," Daniel said, taken aback by Jack's precognition and self-flagellation.

"Goes with the job," Jack shrugged as he sipped his whiskey.

Daniel looked away as Jack's earlier conversation about responsibility flooded back into his mind. There were so many things Daniel took for granted when they were on missions; things he just assumed Jack would look after, thus leaving him free to wander around and explore. He got a hefty dose of reality on P2N-651, and two people paid the price with their lives.

Jack saw the grief settle once again on Daniel's face, and he felt compelled to reiterate his earlier words.

"You did the right thing on 651, Daniel. It was a no-win situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

Daniel raised weary blue eyes.

"Just like you and Reece," he said quietly.

"Yeah," Jack agreed gently, nursing his whiskey.

"Why did you fight me so hard?" Daniel asked.

Jack felt the liquid burn down his throat and warm his gut as he pondered the question.

"Because I know how stubborn you can be. You take up a cause and you don't always think of the consequences to yourself, or to others," Jack replied. "I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just trying to explain where I was coming from. I can't really explain it. I just had a bad feeling about her."

"The same way you had a bad feeling about P2N-651?"

"No, that was more shit-scared than anything else," Jack confessed grimly, shivering at the memory of Daniel's blood in the dirt and the condition they found him in. "Anyway, back to Reece. Like I said, I've thought about my actions a lot and whether I would've acted differently if she'd been different."

"You mean, if she'd been a boy?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah. Like Skaara or Reetu Charlie," Jack admitted. "Or, even Charlie."

"Gender was never the issue, Jack," Daniel said. "I saw how you were with Cassandra and Merrin. It was the fact that Reece was an artificial intelligence. I thought after fighting alongside our own doubles you'd be a littler more broad-minded. But you weren't and I found that frustrating. It was like, I don't know," Daniel said, shaking his head. "It seemed that once you found out she wasn't human you just backed off and washed your hands clean of the whole affair."

Jack had trouble holding Daniel's gaze because the younger man was absolutely right. Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c had reconciled themselves with their doubles, but Jack hadn't, even though they sacrificed their lives for the real SG-1. It wasn't the robot's fault, but Jack couldn't help feeling his life had been stolen when Harlan created that double.

"A robot doesn't have feelings, Daniel. How can it? It's just a machine. How it reacts is all due to its programming," Jack explained, feeling his own frustration grow as the same argument was dredged up once again.

"Isn't that what life is, Jack? A program? I mean, think about it. All our experiences, our life experiences, are filed away in here," Daniel said, tapping his head. "How we react to a situation is the result of accessing information stored in our minds. The only difference is we've learned our information the hard way. Reece and our doubles were given much of it ready-made. But what they did with it is what gave them life, personality," he enthused. "Reece wanted to see our world from the outside, not just the SGC, because she knew there was more to see. She knew that just from her own life and her planet. She was bored at the SGC. She wanted to experience what we offered. Can robots be bored?" Daniel asked, his eyes wide.

"Daniel, her boredom created the Replicators."

"It was loneliness," Daniel interjected.

"And in my book," Jack continued, "anyone, or anything, capable of creating those and turning them loose on their own planet, not to mention the goddamn universe, will not elicit any sympathy from me. Come on, Daniel, you can't honestly believe she could ever be controlled? You sure as hell couldn't believe anything she said. Yes, she looked like a scared, little girl and I watched her push your buttons, and you let her because you always want to help the underdog. Give everyone a chance and to hell with the consequences."

"That's the second time you've said that, Jack," Daniel said angrily. "Are you saying you want me off the team? I'm a liability that can't be tolerated anymore?"

"What?" Jack said in shock. "For crying out loud, Daniel," he said, jumping to his feet. "I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying, I'm sick and tired of seeing you get kicked in the teeth. I don't like to see anyone I care about get hurt, and for some unfathomable reason, I seem to have an extra soft spot for you," he said in frustration.

Daniel's initial defensive anger ebbed, and he smiled.

"I do push your buttons, don't I?"

"Crap, Daniel. You push them and hold them in until I want to scream and beat my head against the wall. And I know I do the same to you," he added ruefully. "But you know what's really irritating?" Jack asked, pacing and scrubbing his hands through his hair.

"What?"

"I don't want you to change," Jack said. "Now how sick and twisted is that?"

"Sam once told me I had the knack of brining out the worst in you, and the best," Daniel said almost apologetically.

"Oh, Danny boy, it's not a knack. You've got it down to an art form," Jack countered.

Daniel, warmed by the genuine affection in Jack's voice, shrugged and said, "I do what I can."

Jack smiled and sat down. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry you got hurt, and not just physically, but I'm not sorry for what I did. For what I had to do, yes, but not because I did it. You've got your job to do Daniel, and I've got mine," he said simply.

"We'll clash again,"" Daniel said quietly, staring into his drink.

"I'm counting on it," Jack said, raising his glass.

Daniel looked up and smiled. He held up his own glass.

"To a long and prosperous battle," Jack said, clinking Daniel's glass.

******************

"Colonel O'Neill, I've asked you here because Major Branson has brought some disturbing news from P2N-651," General Hammond explained.

Jack looked warily at Branson and wondered why the hell Teal'c was seated next to him. His eyebrows rose as he met the dark eyes of his teammate.

Teal'c bowed his head slightly and said, "It concerns Daniel Jackson, O'Neill."

"Crap," Jack muttered as he took his seat. "Look, if you're going to tell me that Daniel acted inappropriately-"

"It's nothing like that, Colonel," Hammond assured.

"Okay, then what?" Jack inquired.

"Major Branson?" Hammond prompted.

Branson nodded and looked at Jack. "My team and I found the wreckage that belonged to our captors," he explained.

"And?" Jack said.

"There wasn't much salvageable. The crash was severe and ordinary humans would've been killed instantly," the major continued.

"What the hell's this got to do with Daniel?" Jack growled.

"Colonel," Hammond cautioned.

Jack sighed and waited patiently.

"We found this," Branson said, passing a metallic object to Jack.

Jack took the metal piece and immediately recognized the writing.

"It's Goa'uld," Jack said, glancing at Teal'c.

"It is indeed, O'Neill."

"What does it say?" Jack asked, still looking at Teal'c.

"It contains orders for the capture of Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stated solemnly.

"By whom?" Jack asked, his voice edged with anger.

"It does not say, O'Neill, but specific directions were given for the planet P2N-651," Teal'c said.

"We believe the crash damaged the androids' memories," Hammond said. "Dr. Jackson did say they appeared to lose their train of thought."

"That may be why they fixated on Dr. Jackson," Branson said. "They knew he was important, but they couldn't remember why."

"Wait a minute," Jack said, his muscles tensing, and his nerves twanging. "Teal'c said this thing," he said, clenching the metal object in his hand, "gives detailed instructions to the planet. How the hell did they know Daniel was going to be there?"

The silence in the room was thick with tension as the others waited for Jack to understand.

"Oh, Christ, we've got a mole," Jack murmured.

"Not just a mole, but bugs as well," Hammond corrected, opening his palm and passing three tiny transmitters to Jack. "These were found in the infirmary," he said with disgust.

Jack stared at the offensive pieces of equipment. If thoughts could kill, whomever planted it and whomever listened in at the other end would have died several times over. He looked up and met Hammond's gaze.

"Daniel doesn't need to know this," he said tightly.

"I concur, General Hammond," Teal'c stated.

"So do I, sir," Branson said. "Dr. Jackson went through hell on that planet and this information will only make him think Cairns and Reynolds died for nothing. That it was him they wanted all along."

Jack felt an irrational stab of jealousy at the major's words. How the hell did he know Daniel so well? Moreover, what gave him the right? That was Jack's privilege. He'd earned that honour even if he had almost squandered it on more than one occasion.

"I'll take your views into consideration, gentlemen," Hammond said gravely. "However, if Dr. Jackson was deliberately targeted he may be able to help us identify the culprits."

"My money's on Maybourne," Jack growled.

"Or Senator Kinsey," Teal'c added.

"God knows what alien technology Maybourne's got his slimy little hands on," Jack said, "and Kinsey's got the money to bankroll him. Daniel's been on both of their hit lists for years."

"If you're right, Colonel O'Neill, it'll be next to impossible to prove," Branson said.

"You don't think I know that?" Jack snapped. 

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I didn't mean-"

"No, I'm sorry," Jack said waving his hand. 

"Colonel O'Neill, perhaps it's time for you and Dr. Jackson to take that fishing trip?" Hammond suggested.

Jack looked at the general in understanding. Get Daniel out while they looked into this.

"All due respect, General, but is that wise?" Branson asked. "If someone's targeted Dr. Jackson-"

"You're saying I can't protect him?" Jack asked icily.

"No, Colonel. In fact, I think you may be the only one who can protect him," the major said quietly. "I'm just concerned about the lack of back up."

"Crap, maybe I need this trip more than Daniel," Jack sighed apologetically.

***************

"What are these?" Daniel asked as Jack dropped a pile of pamphlets on his desk.

"Travel brochures," Jack replied.

Daniel's brow furrowed in confusion as he eyed the pile and then wrinkled quizzically as he glanced up at Jack.

"Pick one," Jack said.

"What?"

"Pick a place to go for a holiday," Jack explained patiently. "You've got more money than you know what to do with, and Hammond wants us out of here for at least a week."

"What, now?" Daniel asked incredulously, slowly spreading the brochures out in front of him.

"Doc says you need the rest," Jack added.

"I don't think Las Vegas is very restful, Jack," Daniel said, grimacing at the gaudy brochure.

"Good, I didn't want to go there anyway," Jack said, snatching the brochure from Daniel's hands.

"Um, I can't ski," Daniel said, separating colourful photos of Aspen, Colorado, and Whistler, British Columbia from the pile.

"Okay, skiing's out," Jack sighed. "There must be something here. Snorkelling in Mexico? You can finally show me those Mayan ruins you're always going on about."

"I don't go on about them, and these are too commercial," Daniel said dismissively tossing more brochures aside.

"Come on, there's gotta be something that appeals to you," Jack groused as more brochures hit the trash can.

"Actually, there is, but I don't see it here," Daniel said thoughtfully. "I've never been there, but I've heard it has lots of bugs and a lake with no fish."

"You're kidding?" Jack said in genuine shock.

"Daniel looked up, wide-eyed and innocent. "Not even a minnow from what I heard."

"That's not what I meant," Jack huffed. "You mean you'd rather go to my cabin than any of these," he asked, pointing to the remaining brochures.

Daniel smiled and shrugged.

Jack's face slip into a wide grin and he ruffled Daniel's hair.

"Cool, but just remember it was your idea."

*****************

"You gonna stay out here all night?"

Daniel smiled and glanced sideways at Jack.

"Just listening to the frogs," Daniel said.

"It's one of my favourite sounds," Jack said, standing next to Daniel. "I could listen to them for hours. That and the loons."

"Reece would say we're boring," Daniel said quietly.

Jack didn't know how to respond so he said nothing.

Daniel sighed. "I said some pretty nasty things to her in the gateroom."

"Daniel," Jack said gently.

"I told her she was made wrong, that she destroyed her world and she was going to destroy ours. You were right, Jack. She lost control of them and they destroyed her planet. They abandoned her and she put herself to sleep. God, she must have been so lonely, and to fear it was happening all over again," he whispered, shivering in the cool night air. "Everyone afraid of her. Hating her."

"She had you, Daniel," Jack said, draping his arm over his friend's shoulders. "You didn't betray her. You stayed her friend, and I think she knew that."

Daniel looked at Jack. "Why do you think that?"

"Just something you said in the gateroom," Jack said. "You said the Replicators stopped because she told them to and not because I killed her. I think maybe she did try to stop them and she did it for you; for her friend."

"I'd like to believe that," Daniel whispered, looking back at the lake, his eyes filling with tears.

"Believe it," Jack said. 

Daniel smiled and sniffled quietly. "I'm sorry I called you a stupid son-of-a-bitch."

"Come on," Jack said squeezing Daniel's shoulder, "Let's go inside. We're wasting a good fire."

"Yeah, okay," Daniel said and allowed Jack to steer him back towards the cabin.

*****************

Daniel awoke to the sound of birds and the smell of fresh-brewed coffee. He smiled and rolled onto his back, stretching languorously like a spoiled cat. He turned his head sideways and squinted at the clock. _Ten a.m.?_ He rolled over to double check the time: ten o'clock in the morning. He had slept eleven hours straight. No dreams. No nocturnal visits to the bathroom. His first honest to God sleep in weeks that hadn't been fuelled by drugs or alcohol. One night in Jack's cabin was all it took. He almost laughed. The dreaded 'fishing trip' that sent Sam scurrying to her motorcycle and Teal'c to an urgent kel'no'reem. But he knew it was more than that; it was much more. It was being with Jack; a man who pushed him to the limits of his patience. A man whose friendship and trust were as addictive as any sarcophagus. In simple terms, Daniel loved Jack, and he knew Jack loved him. They needed each other. It wasn't something that could be analyzed or explained. It just was. Daniel smiled when he thought of what Jack's reaction would be if he knew Daniel was lying naked in bed, silently declaring he loved Jack O'Neill. _For crying out loud, Daniel! I didn't need to hear that!_

Daniel smiled and slid out of bed. He never could go back to sleep when he smelled coffee.

*****************

"Yes, sir," Jack said quietly into his cell phone. "No, he's still asleep. I checked on him earlier. I think it's the first decent sleep he's had in weeks." Jack glanced around to make sure he was indeed alone.

"Is there any news, General?"

Jack listened to the general's response and his eyes suddenly darkened in anger.

"Stein? Sergeant Stein planted the bugs? Goddamnit, I fed that bastard. Wait till I get my hands-"

Jack listened to Hammond in growing frustration.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Jack hissed. "Find him!"`

Jack bowed his head as he massaged his forehead.

"I'm sorry, General. I know you're doing everything you can. You'll let me know if you find him?"

Jack smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir, when you find him," he corrected. "Thank you, sir."

Jack shut off his phone and muttered, "Damn it."

"Jack?"

_Oh, crap._ Jack pasted a surprised look on his face and turned to see Daniel standing ten feet away holding two mugs of coffee.

"Hey, you're up," Jack said cheerfully. "Great, coffee," he enthused walking up to Daniel and taking a mug from his hand.

"What was that about?" Daniel asked, indicating the phone, which was still clasped in Jack's hand.

"Nothing. Just some screw up at the office," Jack said glibly. "How'd you sleep?"

Daniel hadn't heard Jack's conversation, but he could read his friend like a book. Gestures, expressions, and posture had become as familiar to him as any written language.

"Don't, Jack. Not now," Daniel said softly.

Jack looked into the clear blue eyes of his best friend and swallowed hard. All he wanted to do was to protect Daniel and to save him from any more hurt. One look into those impassioned eyes and Jack knew he couldn't lie. They'd gone through too much to get to this point. Lying now would destroy the trust they had painstakingly forged between them. A trust literally forged with blood, sweat, and tears. He wouldn't do that, and yet he hated himself for what he was about to do.

"Are you warm enough," Jack asked.

"I'm fine," Daniel said, his eyes fixed on Jack.

"Let's go down to the lake then," Jack said, turning and heading towards the water. He knew Daniel would follow.

Daniel's pulse raced as his feelings of peace rapidly dissipated. _Oh, God. Now what?_ Daniel silently trailed after Jack. The stiffness of the older man's gait told Daniel the news was bad.

Jack sat in a deck chair and motioned Daniel to follow suit.

"Jack, what is it?" Daniel asked, as he sat down.

Jack placed his mug down and hunched over his knees, his hands clasped tightly together. His jaw twitched in anger and frustration as he struggled to find the words; words that would explain, but not hurt. They eluded him.

"You brought me here for another reason," Daniel stated quietly. "This isn't about me talking about P2N, is it?"

"No," Jack admitted, grateful that Daniel's tone was inquisitive and not confrontational. He remained hunched over but glanced back at Daniel.

"I wanted you to come here when you were ready," Jack said apologetically. "On your terms, but something came up," he said, looking back and down at his hands.

"Not for the good, I take it?" Daniel quipped with a lightness that belied the knot in his stomach.

Jack laughed humourlessly and sat up. "No, Daniel, not for the good."

"Tell me, Jack," Daniel urged.

"SG-5 went back to the planet to look for the downed craft. They found it and it was pretty much a write-off," Jack explained, "but they did find a log book of sorts. Teal'c translated it."

"It was in Goa'uld?" Daniel asked, his eyes widening in interest.

"Yeah," Jack answered, silently wishing Daniel didn't sound so intrigued. "It seems the attack on you wasn't random," he said, holding Daniel's gaze.

Daniel stared at Jack, the older man's gaze unsettling. The uneasiness in his stomach increased and he suddenly felt cold.

"You mean the attack on SG-5," Daniel said, clenching his mug between his hands.

"No, Daniel," Jack replied without hesitation. "The attack on you. You were the target. They were sent to capture you. We don't know by which system lord, or even if-"

"Wait, wait, wait," Daniel interrupted, "they only wanted me?"

_Damn,_ Jack thought. He had hoped to get everything out in a rush. He should've known better.

"Their orders were to retrieve you alive," Jack said in a monotone.

Jack watched Daniel's face blanch in miscomprehension, and he shook his head emphatically.

"Forget it, Daniel. I know what you're thinking. If they hadn't crashed and screwed up their programming they would've have just taken you and left the others. It never would've happened; they would not have left witnesses," Jack insisted.

"You don't know that," Daniel said, jumping up. "If I had gone willingly-"

"Which you would've done, damn you," Jack said almost tenderly. "Daniel, Teal'c was First Prime for years. He's gone on missions like that. He said there would be no survivors."

Daniel turned his anguished face away from the concerned gaze of his friend. He stared out at the lake in a vain attempt to distract his mind from the images of two vibrant lives which had been obliterated in front of him. Another thought insinuated into his mind. _I was the target?_

Jack watched in helpless frustration, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He didn't have long to wait.

"How-how did they know I would be there? I didn't even know until the day before," Daniel asked, his agitation growing.

"The infirmary was bugged. God knows for how long. That's why we wanted to get you away from there," Jack explained. "Try to find out what the hell happened."

"You found out, didn't you?" Daniel asked. "That was General Hammond you were talking to."

"Sergeant Stein planted the bug. He's gone AWOL," Jack said grimly.

"Stein?" Daniel whispered, his mind racing to connect the dots. Stein, the missing member of SG-5 on that fateful mission. Stein, the tall, taciturn man who couldn't look Daniel in the eye at Jack's wake. Daniel had assumed it was because his good friend, Cairns had been killed, and he had held Daniel responsible. But maybe it had been something else. Shame? Remorse?

"Jack, you have to find him," Daniel said suddenly.

"We will, Daniel and I'll get the truth out of him if I-"

"No," Daniel said sharply. "Jack, he needs help. He almost got his whole team killed. God, what must he be feeling?" he murmured.

"Daniel, he set you up!" Jack cried, getting to his feet. "He tried to turn you over to the Goa'uld, for crying out loud."

"We don't know that, Jack," Daniel insisted. "He couldn't have been acting on his own. I don't even know him. Why would he want me out of the way?"

"You're right, Daniel," Jack said, regaining his composure. "I don't think he acted on his own." Jack rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his friend. "Who do we know that would dance in the streets if you were out of the way?"

"Maybourne," Daniel said without hesitation. "Or Kinsey."

Jack nodded, his eyes dark with fury. "I wouldn't put anything past those two. You can throw Simmons in that cesspool as well."

"God, Jack," Daniel whispered, sitting down wearily.

"Hey," Jack said, placing his hand on Daniel's shoulder, "we'll get to the bottom of this."

"Have you ever seen the bottom of a cesspool, Jack?"

Jack arched his eyebrows at the unexpected response.

"Well, I fell into my grandparents' septic tank once."

Daniel looked up, a wan smile on his face.

"Looking for buried treasure?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, "Jack said, shuddering at the memory.

"Shit," Daniel sighed, lowering his head to his hands.

"Exactly," Jack said, sitting down.

Daniel glanced sideways at Jack and didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"What do we do now?" he asked.

"Well, I think we should get more coffee. Mine's cold," Jack declared.

"We're not going back?" Daniel asked, surprise in his voice.

"I'd rather stay here, but it's your call," Jack replied. "Hammond's got the bit between his teeth on this one."

Jack smiled at the puzzled blue eyes. "You're family, Daniel," he explained.

Daniel lowered his gaze to the ground, but the pressure of tears behind his eyes forced him to look up at the trees. He blinked to clear his vision.

"I'll, uh, get us some more coffee," he said hoarsely, standing up and blindly reaching for Jack's mug.

"Sure," Jack said, understanding and respecting his friend's need to be alone. He placed his mug in Daniel's outstretched hand.

Wordlessly, Daniel grasped the mug and retreated to the cabin.

Jack forced his gaze out to the lake, fighting the physical urge to follow Daniel and make sure he was okay. He stood up and walked down to the water's edge, his eyes scanning the ground for his quarry. He picked up a flat stone, hefted the weight in his hand, and threw it out into the lake, counting the skips. He picked up another and threw it out as far as he could, then another, and another...

**************

Daniel flushed the toilet and rocked back on his heels. 

"And you thought things couldn't get worse," he laughed bitterly as he leaned against the wall. He got shakily to his feet and turned on the cold water. He washed his face and rinsed the bile out of his mouth. He looked at his pale reflection in the mirror. 

"God, what am I doing feeling sorry for myself?" he snorted, tearing his eyes away from the wretched face in the mirror. He pressed the heel of his hand into his forehead while his other leaned on the sink for support.  
 _  
They died for you. They died so you could go on fighting the Goa'uld. Is this how you repay them?_

**************

Jack watched his rock sail up high and arc down gracefully to a satisfying splash in the lake. He bent down and picked up another, but let it drop. He figured he'd pissed off the ducks long enough. Besides, his shoulders were getting sore. What he really wanted to do was to go after Daniel, but he promised himself he wouldn't do that. Daniel needed to be alone, and Jack would give him that even if it was damn well driving him crazy with anxiety. He looked around for another distraction and nearly fell on his butt.

"Jesus, Daniel!" he barked. "How long have you been there?"

"Not long," Daniel replied a little sheepishly. "I brought a thermos," he said, holding up a large metal container, "and some Fudgee-O's," he added, gesturing to the bag cradled under his arm.

"Where are the mugs?" Jack asked, walking back to his chair and regaining his composure.

"In my pockets," Daniel replied, extracting said items from his jacket.

Jack sat down and opened the bag of cookies while Daniel poured out two mugs of coffee.

"Thanks," Jack said, wrapping his cold fingers around the hot mug. "You okay?" he asked, glancing up at Daniel as he took a cautious sip.

"I've been better," Daniel replied truthfully. "I've also been worse," he added, sipping his own coffee, but with much less caution.

"Can I help?" Jack asked casually, but deadly serious.

"Yes, yes you can," Daniel said, looking at Jack with intense blue eyes.

"How?" Jack queried, unconsciously tensing. _If you want off the team, forget it, Danny boy._

"Be yourself," Daniel said, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Jack blinked and then shook his head in defeat.

"Don't ask for much do you?" he griped, snagging another cookie. He bit into the cookie and chewed thoughtfully. "Does this mean we're staying?" he asked.

"We're staying," Daniel concurred.

"Good," Jack nodded, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his legs.

Daniel smiled and leaned back, mimicking Jack's position.

************

"I'll tell him. Thank you, sir."

Jack stared at his cell phone before snapping it shut and tossing it on the counter.

"Peachy," he muttered, then went outside to see Daniel.

Daniel could tell by Jack's footsteps that he came bearing bad news.

"You've heard something," Daniel said, turning his back on the lake to face Jack.

"Hammond just called."

"They found Sergeant Stein?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, they found him," Jack said darkly.

Daniel stared at the older man's grim face and closed his eyes.

"He's dead," Daniel whispered.

"Apparent drug overdose," Jack acknowledged.

Daniel gave a derisive snort and shook his head.

"They killed him. Those sons of bitches killed him."

"That would be my guess," Jack agreed.

"Damn it, Jack! How many more people-"

"Daniel, this isn't your fault. None of it is," Jack interjected sharply.

"How can you say that?" Daniel shot back, his eyes blazing. "You said it yourself. They wanted me," he said, ramming his fingers into his chest. "Not Stein, not Cairns, and not Sharon, but me. And who's dead, Jack? Who?"

"Listen, Daniel-"

"No! No, Jack," Daniel said, throwing his hands up in the air, "I'm tired of listening. I'm tired of hearing empty platitudes."

"So, what are you going to do, Daniel?" Jack asked hotly. "Retire? Throw yourself at Maybourne's feet and say 'Take me, I'm all yours.'?"

The two men glared at each other, angry words ready to spring forth from their lips at the slightest provocation. Words that would only hurt them both.

Jack backed down first. His friend had been hurt on every level and he was damned if he'd add to the misery.

Daniel saw Jack's eyes soften and the lines of anger ease into lines of worry and regret. His own irrational rage vanished as Jack slumped to the ground, his head bowed. Daniel hesitated a moment before easing himself down beside Jack.

"I don't know what to do, Jack," Daniel whispered.

Jack turned his head sideways and locked eyes with his friend.

"You let us help you, Daniel," Jack said softly. "An attack on you is an attack on me. It's an attack on Carter, Teal'c, Hammond, hell, everyone. Bottom line: you hurt, we hurt."

Daniel bit his bottom lip and looked away. He was only too familiar with the awful debilitating feeling of helplessness when someone he cared about was hurt or, worse, killed. But was he worth it?

"And you better damn well believe you're worth it," Jack muttered, nudging Daniel with his shoulder.

Daniel smiled in spite of his sorrow and looked at Jack. He wanted to say something to express his gratitude for Jack's words and his presence, but nothing seemed adequate. Instead, he looked back at the lake and leaned into Jack.

Jack smiled, surprised and heartened by the affectionate gesture. He joined Daniel in gazing out at the water, enjoying the soft chatter of ducks and the lazy ripples of water their diving created. They sat that way for several minutes until Jack's stomach growled ominously.

Daniel sat up straight and looked at Jack.

"Sure you didn't bring Junior with you?" 

*******************

The next morning as Jack was putting away the breakfast dishes he heard the distinct rumble of a jeep. He frowned and looked out the window.

"For crying out loud," he murmured.

"Jack, is that a car I hear?" Daniel called from his bedroom.

"Yeah. Looks like we've got company."

"Who is it?" Daniel asked, coming into the kitchen to stand beside Jack and peer out the window.

"Branson," Jack said.

"Colin? Why would he come out here?" Daniel asked.

"Let's find out."

****************

Major Branson stepped out of his jeep and looked out at the lake. He glanced up at the cabin then back to the lake again. Suddenly, this felt like a really bad idea. He should have just phoned. Better yet, he should have let Hammond phone. He was an intruder; he didn't belong here. Maybe they were out hiking and he could quietly leave? He looked back at the cabin and saw the door open.

"Damn," he muttered.

Branson watched as Jack and Daniel came out onto the deck. He couldn't help smiling. Daniel looked good; real good. The bruising was almost gone and his face had lost that haunted look. 

Branson closed the door of his jeep and walked up to the deck.

"Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson, I'm sorry to-"

"Out here it's Jack," Jack said as he stepped down to meet the major.

"And it's always been Daniel," Daniel added, smiling in greeting.

The three men shook hands amiably, but there was wariness in all of them.

"General Hammond gave me directions," Branson said apologetically to Jack. "I really should've just called, but I wanted to tell you in person." These last words were directed at Daniel who stiffened noticeably.

"Tell him what?" Jack asked, moving instinctively closer to Daniel.

"Jack," Daniel said gently, glancing at his friend. "Tell me what, Colin?" he asked looking at the major.

"I received this last night," Branson explained as he pulled out a small cassette tape from his pocket. Sergeant Stein made a recording before he died. It's from his answering machine. I think he was in a hurry," he added grimly.

"He knew they'd come after him," Jack said.

Branson nodded and said, "It's been authenticated; it's real. You need to hear it. I brought a tape recorder, just in case."

Daniel took the small object from the major's hands. He stared at it in his palm then closed his fingers around it tightly.

"Will it end here?" Daniel asked, staring at his closed fist.

Branson glanced at Jack, unsure of how to respond.

Jack gave a terse nod which said, 'Tell him the truth.'"

"No, but it will help," Branson said.

Daniel nodded. "Then let's go inside."

********************. 

The recording was brief; the anguished confession of a lost man. Stein's father was a gambler who had gotten in way over his head. Death threats and 'accidents' that plagued his father had forced the desperate young sergeant to risk his career, and ultimately his life, to pay his father's debts. Contacted by a man from the NID, a man he never saw, Stein was presented with the opportunity to save his father. All he had to do was plant a few bugs in the SGC infirmary. No one was to get hurt. It was just a bit of 'eavesdropping' on drugged-up patients. Words spoken under anaesthetic or pain medication that would possibly provide information on failed missions. Stein admitted he knew it was wrong, but he had to save his father. He had been at his father's side when the team, his team, went to P2N-651. Horrified by the events of that mission, he had made the tape to apologize for causing the deaths of Cairns and Reynolds, and the 'unbearable suffering of Dr. Jackson and the families of the deceased.'

 

_Life's a bitch,_ Jack thought as he watched Branson remove the tape and return it to his pocket. He returned his scrutiny to Daniel. The younger man was tight-lipped, his hands wrapped tightly around his chest.

"That's why he couldn't look at you," Jack said. "He was so wracked with guilt and self-loathing."

Daniel looked at Jack with surprise.

"What? You didn't think I noticed how he reacted to you? I thought he blamed you and I wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him, but it didn't seem appropriate under the circumstances," Jack explained.

"I knew he was grieving for Sergeant Cairns, but this," Branson said. "Damn it, why didn't he come to me? I knew his father had a gambling habit, but I had no idea it was that bad."

"It's not your fault," Jack said firmly. "It's not an easy thing to ask for help, especially from your CO."

"It's not even easy to ask for help from your best friend," Daniel said quietly, looking at Jack.

Branson saw the look of understanding pass between the two men and he felt a pang of jealousy for what they shared. O'Neill and Jackson were already SGC legend. Their friendship had been on built on trust, respect, loss, pain, and love. Sure they butted heads, but they were always there for each other when it really counted. They would willingly die for each other. Hell, the whole of SG-1 was like that. They were the epitome of what a team could achieve. Damn, he was feeling like an outsider again.

"Well, I should get back," Branson said. "The general-"

"You just got here," Daniel exclaimed.

"Yeah, what's your rush?" Jack asked. "If Hammond gave you permission to come all the way out here he sure as hell wouldn't expect you to stay for only ten minutes."

"At least stay and have lunch with us," Daniel said. "Jack's burgers are incredible."

Jack looked at Daniel in surprise. "They are?"

"Yes, they are. I guess I just never told you," Daniel said apologetically.

"'s'okay," Jack said, "there's probably stuff I've never said to you, too."

There was that look again, but this time Branson felt honoured rather than as an interloper.

"So, Colin, what do you say?" Jack asked, smiling at the major.

"I'd love to stay, sir, um, Jack," he added, at the older man's reproachful look.

*******************  
"Daniel said you'd need this," Branson said, holding up the bottle of barbecue sauce.

"Thanks. I was just gonna yell for that," Jack said, taking the sauce.

"You look like you have everything under control so I'll see if-"

"I don't bite," Jack said. "At least not hard. Relax, have another beer," he said, gesturing to the cooler.

Branson looked down at the empty can beside Jack and smiled.

"Would you like another beer?"

"Great idea!" Jack enthused. "Don't mind if I do."

Branson retrieved two cans, flipped the tab off one and handed it to the older man.

Jack took a long swallow and sighed contentedly. "Danny doesn't know what he's missing."

Branson smiled. _Danny._ He liked that. Doctor Jackson deserved a friend who called him Danny.

"He's amazing," Branson murmured, the words out before he realized it. He looked at Jack in dismay. "What I mean is-"

"It's okay. You're right anyways, Daniel is amazing," Jack agreed, looking up at the cabin. "The shit he's seen and been through," he whispered. _The crap I've put him throug, and he still wants to be my friend._ Jack shook his head thoughtfully and looked at Branson.

"Thanks for bringing the tape. It meant a lot to him, and to me."

"I also did it for Stein and myself," Branson admitted. "I couldn't stomach the thought that Dr. Jackson would think one of my people thought so little of him."

Jack nodded in understanding and appreciation. He looked down at the barbecue and flipped the burgers.

"Tell me the truth. What was your first thought when Hammond told you Daniel was temporarily assigned to your team?" Jack asked casually.

Branson looked startled by the question and, if Jack wasn't mistaken, embarrassed.

"It's not a trick question," Jack assured with a smile. "I'm just curious," he said as he basted the burgers.

"I can't honestly say. There were so many things running through my mind: surprise; delight; fear."

"Fear?" Jack frowned.

"Fear of what would happen to me if anything happened to Dr. Jackson," Branson admitted.

"Something did happen to Dr. Jackson and here you are watching me cook burgers. Scary stuff," Jack teased.

"It was," Branson said quietly, vivid images flashing in his mind.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. Poor choice of words," Jack said apologetically. "Okay, surprise and fear I can understand, but delight?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Branson blushed. "I'm a great admirer of Dr. Jackson."

"Admirer?" Jack repeated, both eyebrows now raised.

"Of his work, Colonel," Branson clarified, slipping automatically into a subordinate role. "His profession, archaeology. It's-it's always fascinated me. It still does."

"Ah, I see." _Thank God. I thought I might have to hurt you there._

"Jack! How are the burgers coming?"

Both men turned to see Daniel standing on the deck.

"Just a few minutes!" Jack yelled. "Are the salads ready?"

"Just waiting for the word!" Daniel replied.

Jack waved and turned to Branson.

"Give Daniel a hand setting things up. I'll bring these up in a minute."

"Right away, sir."

Jack watched the young major leave. It was a strange feeling sharing Daniel with another. Teal'c and Carter he could see, but this one? This one snuck right up on him. Jack's proprietary feelings toward his teammate surprised and disturbed him. Was he preventing Daniel from making new friends; friends that actually got off on the same stuff Daniel did? Was he that selfish, or was it jealousy?

"Crap, give it a rest before you ruin the burgers," Jack muttered to himself.

**************

"Thanks, Colin, for everything," Daniel said, shaking Branson's hand firmly.

"You're more than welcome, Daniel, and thank you both for the lunch. It was great," Branson replied, nodding towards Jack.

"Next time, bring your fishing rod," Jack said, holding out his hand.

"Thank you," Branson replied, appreciating the gesture, but knowing it was an invitation he would never fulfill, nor be expected to fulfill. This visit was a one time deal; a special peek into a special relationship, and that was okay.

"And don't worry about Hammond," Jack added as the major got into his jeep. "I'll talk to him before you get back to the mountain." 

"I appreciate that, sir. I'll see you both later."

Jack swore he heard Daniel sigh as Branson drove away.

_Crap._

"Do you want to go with him?"

"What?" Daniel said, looking at Jack in surprise.

"Well, you know, you and he seem to have a lot in common," Jack said, fumbling for words.

"Is that why you were so accommodating with him? Because you thought I'd like it?" Daniel asked.

"No!" Jack said sharply. "He's a good officer, and I appreciate what he did for you."

"So do I," Daniel replied.

"Well, okay then."

"Okay then, what?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know. Just okay," Jack said, flustered.

Daniel smiled. "Jack, I came here to get away from what's back there," he said, waving in the direction Branson had just headed.

"Which is?" Jack prompted, his forehead creasing in concern.

"Oh, the usual: rumours, whispers, and the tip-toeing around. Is this the straw that breaks Dr. Jackson's back? Who's the lucky team that gets him next? Up your insurance, guys, we've got Dr. Jackson."

"That's crap, Daniel."

"Is it?" Daniel countered, his eyes solemn.

"It's just talk; it doesn't mean shit," Jack claimed. "You're not a liability, Daniel. You're an asset, and not just to SG-1. That goes for every damn team at the SGC. And if people feel sorry for you, then so what? Why shouldn't they? God knows you've had more than your share of crap over the years. But don't think for one damn second that anyone thinks you can't handle the job or the pressure."

Daniel listened to Jack's tirade and felt some of his fears dissipate. He nodded while he chewed at his bottom lip.

"Daniel, I don't often say it, hell, I've probably never said it," Jack murmured guiltily, "but I am damn proud and honoured to be the leader of SG-1, and there is no one I am more proud or honoured to work with than you."

Daniel looked at Jack, his eyes large and damp.

"But in spite of all that," Jack said, waving his hand, "it pales in comparison to how it feels to have you as a friend, and if you ask me to repeat that, so help me, Daniel, I'll make you wish you were never born," Jack warned with a raised finger.

Daniel emitted a sound between a laugh and a sob. He removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. "Damn pollen," he muttered ruefully.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, surreptitiously wiping his own eyes, "damn stuff gets everywhere. So, is there anything you'd like to say?" Jack asked, studying his fingernails.

"Um, the burgers were good. Okay," Daniel said, smiling at Jack's mock indignation, "since we're talking I admit I wasn't quite ready to come out here, but I just want to say how glad I am to be here...with you. True, there are times when I just want to throw you through a wall," he smiled, "but no one knows me as well as you do, Jack. Not even Sha're."

"Crap, this stuff is thick today," Jack grumbled, blinking his eyes.

"Maybe we should go inside?" Daniel suggested. "I'll brew my special blend."

"Sounds like a plan," Jack said, clapping Daniel on the back. He withdrew his hand quickly when he saw the younger man flinch.

"Shit, Daniel, I forgot," Jack apologized. _Crap, how the hell could I forget?_

"Good, you're supposed to forget," Daniel said seriously, flexing his back gingerly. "There's just certain spots that are still tender."

"I bet," Jack grimaced, remembering the sight of his friend's ruined back. "You doing your exercises?" he asked, opening and closing his fist to demonstrate.

"When I remember," Daniel admitted with a guilty smile as he dutifully flexed his wrist.

"Yeah, been there, done that," Jack smiled. "Do them for me, okay? I want you back on the team ASAP."

Daniel looked into the warm, compassionate eyes of his friend and remembered. Remembered holding a gun on him, half-crazed with fear and desperation; remembered a dream: 'You never were very bright'; remembered calling him a 'stupid, son-of-a-bitch'. Then he remembered keeping his mouth shut and watching two people, two teammates, die.

"Daniel?" Jack said, the look in his friend's eyes causing him concern.

Daniel jerked his head away. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"For what?" Jack frowned.

Daniel laughed; a short, bitter laugh that sent shivers down Jack's spine. Jack knew what would come next.

"Daniel, don't say-"

"For being a headcase?"

"Damn it, Daniel," Jack growled in frustration.

"Jack, it isn't this," Daniel said, holding up his injured arm, "or the marks on my back keeping me off the team. It's this," he said, tapping his head. "You think Janet's going to let me waltz back through the 'gate after what happened on P2N-651?"

"Yes, I do," Jack said firmly.

"Then you're a bigger fool than I thought," Daniel replied calmly. He then turned and walked back to the cabin.

Jack stared at Daniel's retreating back. _What the hell brought that on? I spill my gut, and he pisses on me? Damn it to hell! Not so fast, Jackson._

Jack stormed after Daniel, alternating between indignation and concern.

"Daniel!" Jack bellowed as he entered the cabin. 

Jack heard water running in the kitchen. "Stay cool," he murmured to himself as he approached the kitchen.

Daniel felt rather than heard Jack enter the kitchen. _Record time, Jack._ He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead, he opened the bag of beans and poured some into the grinder.

"It's a hell of a thing to watch anyone die, Daniel, but it's something you have to learn to live with," Jack said quietly.

Daniel froze. He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

"What if I don't want to learn to live with it?" he asked.

"Then you self-destruct and you don't give a shit who you take with you," Jack said grimly as he entered the room. 

Daniel's hand clenched around the grinder, his thumb hovering over the button that would drown out Jack's voice.

"I watched my son die," Jack whispered. "I've been where you are, Daniel, and you know that because I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you."

Daniel's thumb began to tremble, and his pulled his hand away.

Jack approached Daniel slowly. 

"You were only a boy when your parents died," Jack said gently. "You've got strength you haven't even tapped yet. What happened to Cairns and Reynolds was a tragedy, but don't make it more tragic by allowing their deaths to become meaningless."

Daniel's hands fell limply to his side and he turned to face Jack.

Jack managed to maintain a neutral expression even though the look on his friend's face chilled him to the bone. In two quick strides, he closed the distance between them and enveloped Daniel in a hug. Mindful of the injured back, Jack wrapped one arm around Daniel's shoulders and the other around his waist.

Daniel stiffened but then clasped onto Jack with a strength and desperation that surprised and scared the older man.

"It'll be okay," Jack murmured, and he felt the body in his arms tremble.

"Let it out, Danny," Jack whispered.

The tears came immediately, and Jack hugged his friend tighter and rocked him gently. 

After a minute, Daniel took a shaky breath, squeezed Jack and then released his arms.

Jack took his cue and stepped back.

"It comes in waves," Daniel said, sniffling and wiping his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his middle and leaned against the counter. "I think I've got a handle on things and then..." Daniel shook his head in frustration and looked down. He couldn't even get the words out.

"And then you feel guilty for being alive," Jack said gently. "You start to feel good again and it hits you: what gives you the right to enjoy life when others have it taken away?"

Daniel stared at Jack, his silence speaking for him.

"That's why we're here, Daniel. I don't pretend to know all the answers. Hell, I don't even know half the damn questions, but I do know what and who is important to me, and I will fight to my last breath to protect what I believe in, and who I believe in," Jack said fervently. "I also know for a fact that you feel the same way."

Jack leaned against the counter beside Daniel and struck a similar pose, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"You said earlier it's hard to ask for help, even from your best friend," Jack said gently, looking sideways at Daniel. 

Daniel turned his head to meet Jack's gaze.

"Don't ask, Daniel. Just take what's offered."

Daniel blinked rapidly and redirected his gaze to the ceiling.

"And if I can't give you what you need," Jack pressed on, "then go to Carter or Teal'c, and let's not forget Janet and Hammond. Daniel, you'd be the first in line to help any of us. Don't think you're any less important or any less deserving."

After a short pause, Jack asked lightly, "Is any of this getting through to you?"

Daniel turned his head and pushed up his glasses. There was still sadness and guilt in the clear blue eyes, but the utter despair and helplessness had vanished. He leaned in slightly so his shoulder touched Jack's.

"So, just to clarify," Daniel said slowly, his eyes downcast, "if I keep you up till all hours in the morning, that's okay?"

"Well now, that depends on how much special brew you make," Jack said, leaning into Daniel.

Daniel smiled and cocked his head to look up at Jack.

"Guess I better get that special ingredient."

"I'll grind the beans," Jack offered with a smile.

"You better grind a lot," Daniel warned.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jack shrugged and then reached over and ruffled Daniel's hair.

Daniel sighed in mock suffering, but made no attempt to avoid the affectionate gesture.

Jack grinned and turned to his task. He anticipated a long night ahead, but it didn't faze him in the least. He was going to be the best damned friend Daniel ever had, or ever would have.

"Jack?" Daniel said quietly.

Jack turned around.

"Yeah?" he asked, surprised to see Daniel looking so uncertain.

In response, Daniel silently approached Jack and hugged him.

Jack hugged Daniel fiercely in return, not trusting his voice.

"Now you're learning," he finally managed to say hoarsely.

The two men parted and resumed their tasks, secure in the knowledge that their love and friendship could endure anything the universe threw at them.

 

The end


End file.
